As long as we continue to drive cars, it seems that the bumper sticker will be around to accompany us. Some make relatively bold statements while others prefer to keep things light with a joke.
From time to time, there are some classics. But some bring about a bit of head-scratching. They are weird, unclear, angry for no reason, or simply nonsensical. Here are forty of the oddest bumper stickers recently seen.
What Makes a Baby So Special?
You've all seen those stickers that proudly declare that there's a baby on board. Those without kids want to ask: what does that mean? Am I supposed to drive less recklessly now? I was totally going to do a Hollywood-style car chase down this street. I guess I'll just wait until I'm no longer following you.
Adults can be hurt just like babies can! Assuming your baby's life should be valued more than anyone else's is very weird. If anything, it could be argued that you are the one who ought to be more careful while you have your baby in your car. Did you strap them in? Do you have a sticker on your dashboard reminding you of same?
Running on Empty
This sticker is a helpful PSA to remember to check your fuel and fill up regularly. Many of us have been in a situation where the gas light starts blinking, and we're far away from a gas station.
There we are, hoping to make it to the next gas pump, with little to no idea when we'll finally run out. With this sticker attached to your gas tank inlet or bumper, it's will always be top of mind. That poor guy can't hold on forever.
Reality Artist Check
This may also sound harsh, but this sticker really lets artists have it straight up. Lots of people feel undervalued and misunderstood these days. They express this in various forms of art - music, painting, poetry, whatever. The problem is that some then feel this gives them license to call themselves artists.
In reality, it could be that these people just need to express themselves without going the extra step of saying that their work is some poignant commentary on society. Output in the respective artform doesn't also automatically deserve praise and reverence. This bumper sticker is just a friendly reminder of that.
An Urgent Reminder
It seems that people forgetting to fuel their car is more common than one might think. Here's another example of a sticker being used to detail where the fuel goes... urgently if required. The cat's expression is priceless.
It's a much more thoughtful design than the previous guy battling with the fuel needle. After all, who doesn't;t love engaging with the cat? The adorable plea for food might cause you to overspend at the pump. A side benefit is the attention your car receives on the highway. This one gets a thumbs up.
Sign of the Times
Lots of people live in a situation where they need more money. There's no shame in admitting we've all seen better financial days. Employing a bumper sticker to that effect seems logical (assuming you can afford it).
What's nice about this particular example is the tongue-in-cheek way of saying it. The familiar out-of-body experience is something quite surreal and strange. In at least some respects, having no money can feel that way sometimes, especially if you happen to be working a full-time job anyway.
Live and Let Live
Why did the chicken cross the road? Why should it be anyone's business? This fresh take on the world's oldest joke seems silly on one level, but when you dig deeper, it's a sly take on social politics.
Indeed, if you forget about obsessing why the chicken is crossing the road, you can get on with essential questions, like whether you're going to follow it or leave it alone. The best advice is to leave it alone. It minds its own business. Take a lesson.
If You Can Read This
Everyone's heard of or seen that bumper sticker that reads: "If you can read this, you're too close." It's an intelligent sticker, emphasizing the importance of road safety. This particular version of the sticker abandons any pretense of caring about your best interests.
If you can indeed read this, you're not particularly special, especially in a developed country. Well, it also subtly suggests that you should be able to use common sense and not drive so close. So maybe drop back a few yards?
It's My Fault (Not)
Another take on the "if you can read this" sticker takes a somewhat passive-aggressive approach. Instead of telling the aggressive driver in the rear that they're being silly, this one seemingly apologizes for being too close from the front.
If you unintentionally crept up and started tailgating, no harm done. But if you're one of those aggressive drivers, you can't say you've been warned when something goes wrong—all in all, a friendly (almost Canadian) reminder to be cool.
Alien Safety Protocol
When the aliens invade, their first target will likely be unbuckled drivers. Maybe. If this kind of inside information is anything to go by, the car seat buckle is effective at combating the act of sucking you out of your car. It might save you during the Martian attack.
It just so happens that car seat safety belts are also handy for everyday safety from fender benders and serious accidents. It could save your life. That's a wonderful bonus in case you're still feeling that buckling up is too much of an inconvenience.
Don't Look Here
Yeah, we get it. You want us to look at the back of your car. It looks lovely, and gearheads will fawn over your vehicle's bits - it is a superb machine, after all, and we bet it goes very fast.
But here's the thing. You put a bumper sticker on it. That says a lot about why you own this car. You want us to be jealous of you and your auto. The car is terrific without a giant sign saying, "Look at me!". Why not invest in a T-shirt instead?
Peace or Else
In a superhero universe, the heroes are generally the good guys, fighting for a world where everyone has a fair shot at peace and justice. The artsy representation of the word here has good intentions behind it, but it feels a little elaborate.
For one thing, it might distract the driver, who is reading it while trying to figure it out and drive. For another, we should subtract points for mixing up the Marvel and DC symbolism. or maybe that's the point. Maybe there is enough room for everyone in a modern world.
Not sure where to start here. First, when did it become functional or valuable to declare yourself insane? Putting that to one side for a moment, it's unclear what the intended message might be to anyone reading this.
Are we supposed to feel a little uncomfortable? Do we back off a little bit on the road? We're not sure this sends a good message, and that's before the critics lay into you about ableist language and nonsensical outcomes.
What Happened to You?
This bumper sticker is incredibly sad. Or, at least, it suggests a great tragedy. This driver was once high on life, headed for glory and success in whatever field they chose. Then something happened. We don't even know what.
It's an oddly downbeat message but quite funny at the same time. Having the ability to make fun of oneself is always seen as a positive. And being self-aware enough to poke fun at what might have been - well, it can't be all that bad.
It seems that this owner went out of their way to explain a lot of things. To infer that they are disgruntled would be an understatement. It also offers a lot of potential bad publicity for at least one dealer. Think of it as a rolling Yelp review of sorts.
Clearly, this owner was very unhappy with the whole act of buying a new car from that dealer. What makes this particular bumper sticker episode outstanding and remarkable is that all these stickers were custom-made. That's a lot of effort borne out of anger.
This driver seems to be implying that overtaking them is a definite no-no. They've got Gandalf on the bumper preventing you from doing so, after all. Hooray for fans of Lord of the Rings. Confusion for anyone who has never seen the movies or read the books.
This one is fun. It (probably) isn't serious about the ban on overtaking, and it shows a willingness to reference children's literature in everyday life. On the other hand, if the driver happens to have a long gray beard, best to err on the side of caution.
Another great point within a point within a joke type of sticker. Everyone has an opinion these days. Many aren't shy about sharing it online, on their blogs, or social media. But that doesn't mean any of it has any value.
This is why the point is that it's pointless. Still, you could settle for the fact that your own opinions are fantastic, too. By the way, if you're reading this article on this site, you're proving that it's awesome. Thank you.
On the one hand, this bumper sticker seems to make a rather damning statement about men. But when you contemplate the wording a little more, it's quite the opposite. And not just because they're put in the same category as dragons.
No, this person is saying that although they allegedly only exist in fantasy, they genuinely do believe in them and that they exist. Instead of seeing it as a bold rejection, men should see it as a statement of optimistic affirmation.
From the Top Rope
Wrestling fans get a tough time from people who "don't get it." But that's no reason to hide your fandom. This driver feels that the best way to alleviate the gloom of driving in the rain is by demonstrating the classic elbow drop.
There have been some great proponents of this move in wrestling lore, notably, "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Shawn "HBK" Michaels. Another thing: Technically, this may not be a bumper sticker, but why don't you meet this guy in the ring and settle this once and for all?
Tis the Seasoning
When you're driving behind this truck on one of those cold, icy mornings, take a moment to appreciate this attempt at ironically dry humor. Imagine Salt Bae here delicately sprinkling your street with a healthy dose of salt, then enjoy the salt truck driver's gag.
The driver, it seems, looked at the funnier side of a somewhat thankless job. The image on the back of the truck is Salt Bae, a popular internet meme from 2017. This Turkish chef became an internet sensation for his elaborate method of seasoning his food.
One For The Kids
Dinosaurs are popular. At least, they would be if they still existed. Thanks to Steven Spielberg, dinosaurs have captured the imagination of most movie-going audiences for decades now. And why not? They're ultra-cool, cute, and ferocious all at the same time.
It's a pity then that they died out 65 million years ago. But we have hope. History, according to most experts, repeats itself. If it does, why not consider getting a dinosaur? They're easy to take care of, love going for walks (or runs) in the woods, and you only need to feed them once.
The Good Ol' Days
Most of us have some distant memory of the day that we were cool. It might have been at school when we scored the winning points, or maybe at work on the day we told the boss to take a hike.
This bumper sticker remembers that day but also acknowledges that those times are long gone. It's not necessarily self-disparaging, though. The statement might also imply that we simply don't care what you think of us anymore.
Here's a great take on those stick figure family window stickers you sometimes see on family cars. This one not only declares that this family is zombified, but that they also ate your stick figure family just because they could.
What takes this one into great territory is that it also adds zombie pets for the win. What's scarier than a zombie cat and dog coming after your Fido? Note also the missing limbs, even if the family seems to be otherwise well-dressed.
This sticker hilariously speaks to the helplessness of resisting fads. Many people could do without bumper stickers, but this driver came out the other end of that disdain. As a result, he placed a bumper sticker declaring his hatred of bumper stickers.
More than likely, there's an element of truth to that statement. But this owner saw the funny side of the situation and capitulated for the sake of a decent laugh. Ironically, we're willing to bet they're now a fan of bumper stickers.
Leave Me Alone
It seems that elderly drivers do sometimes suffer the abuse of other drivers. Presumably, it's because they drive too slowly or defensively. But being a senior citizen does have some advantages. For example, you can be as belligerent as you like, almost without fear of retaliation.
It also helps if you find the funny side of it and use that to your advantage as well. In this case, this elderly driver had had enough and decided to tell people off before they even thought about giving him grief. The sticker is funny because it's probably what he would say when you accosted him directly.
Sometimes, bumper stickers state the nonsensical or the completely unnecessary. Here's an example of a weirdly scientific order. The problem is that no one disputes it or is able to. So... why are we reading this?
If we give the owner the benefit of the doubt, we might extrapolate that they are not fans of airplanes or flying. That might be fair enough. There may have been a funnier way to imply this, though. Chalk this one up in the "strange" column.
This bumper sticker is a sly reference to a funny song by comedy rock duo Tenacious D. For those in the know, the sticker provides a welcome chuckle on the road. It's also a prompt to put up the horns.
Ok for those that don't know what that is, it's the universal hand symbol to indicate that you're cool to rock out. Make a fist, and extend your pinkie and your index finger. Then put it in the air. Do that as you drive past this car, and you're likely to get some horns back.
Self Help Is Good
A little bit of kindness goes a long way. And in times when life is a little more complicated, it's worth directing that love a little inward. No matter how tough things get, there's always a bright side, as in this case, where having your own source of beer really helps.
What's more: having such a positive spin on things is likely to win you the admiration of others, and maybe even friends. And yes, it is nice to have something to feel proud of. All this sticker needs is a telephone number.
The Big Thinker
This bumper sticker is a bit of a controversial statement. The driver seems to be asserting that they are smart, employing brainpower to navigate the world. So don't mess with this intellect, or you're going to come off second-best.
To be honest, that could be seen as a challenge. The more belligerent among us may want to pull this driver aside and ask something like: "What makes Ohio the birthplace of aviation?" Still, we suppose the message is generally positive - stay in school.
Taking On the Fuzz
Little good can come from challenging the police when they're on your case. But this bumper sticker sticks its tongue firmly in cheek by poking fun at the idea of being pursued by the law. Hopefully, they see the humor in it, too.
The clever wording doesn't even refer to the cops directly, which makes it even more chuckle-worthy. On the one hand, it's admitting to breaking the law. On the other, it's claiming to be oblivious to why the police would have a problem with that.
Work It Out
Gym enthusiasts will appreciate this one. When you're following a muscle-building program, make sure you plan for working on the total body. And never miss leg day. This truck is a representation of what happens when you get lazy about your legs.
This truck is odd. Was it intentionally built this way? In that case, the bumper sticker addition is hilarious. If the modification was unavoidable for some reason, it's a reminder; a hard lesson to not mess with what works perfectly fine in the first place.
Firstly, this is a very odd-looking car. Presumably, it's some sort of sports or kit car. Whatever it is, its road legality may seem dubious to a stranger. The bumper sticker reads: " Please don’t hit me. I’m not 100% sure about my coverage”.
Even the driver isn't sure whether this car should be on the road. This isn't a good sign. Should you indeed crash into this car, there's no guarantee that the driver has insurance. On the other hand, why would a driver advertise that? We bet this guy gets pulled over a lot by the police.
No Baby On Board
In a dig at those stickers that show a happy family unit hiking or whatever, this hilarious take demonstrates a couple's happiness at having no kids but a lot of money and what seems to be plenty of fun. Clearly, this sticker was designed by someone who had had enough.
On the one hand, it does feel a little sharp. But when you think about it, no one really asks for strangers to tell them about their family members while driving on the highway or parked in the Walmart lot. It just seems fair to tell them in return about another alternative option for life. Unsolicited, of course.
How do you get people to stop honking at you? Not like this. Chances are, this guy gets a lot of honking. Chances are also that they tell themselves that it's because other drivers love their fancy sports car.
In truth, it's probably because we're offended that you'd sully a very expensive sports car with a stupid bumper sticker that doesn't;t really make sense. It's not especially funny or clever. And it's a bumper sticker on a VEY expensive sports car! That isn't very respectful.
Some people are happy to follow the instructions. Others do their utmost to challenge the rules. This bumper sticker does it all for you. The top line reads: "Don't read the next sentence." Of course, you're going to read the following sentence. Who wouldn't?
"You little rebel. I like you." Aw. Just like that, you've broken the rules, and you can feel good about it. This bumper sticker gets points for being pleasant and inoffensive while bringing a smile to someone's day. Who doesn't appreciate a little love from time to time?
The Obvious Child
We'd love to say that a lot is going on here, but in truth, there isn't. This, as indicated, is the back of the car. There's no hidden meaning or agenda. There's no secret code to unlock, no real joke...
Which ultimately means that this bumper sticker is a fail. What was probably meant to be some meta-joke about bumper stickers just falls flat when you consider that someone spent money on it. On the upside, the driver at least knows which way is forward.
Adult Lives Matter, Too
This is another take on those annoying "Baby on Board" stickers. It's also factual. We were all babies once. And just because we (hopefully) no longer poop our pants doesn't mean you can be more reckless around us.
So, as a general rule, be a considerate driver, and be safe. Extra points for the playful graphic. The guy waving with a smile on his face is a nice touch because it adds that element of friendliness. That doesn't make the message any less biting.
We're going to go out on a limb here and say this is not true. Firstly, if your kid was at Hogwarts, we shouldn't know about it - we're muggles! On a serious note, it's nice to meet fellow Harry Potter fans on the highway.
Just to be sure, we'd advise being cautious around this lot. We assume that they wouldn't use magic to attack you if you do tick them off. But even if they don't, they may identify with the Dark Traffic Wizard when it comes to conflict.
What's more pleasant than lots of cars honking in unison? More cars honking in unison! At least, that's what this brave person seems to be advocating. We bet they're not very popular in their own neighborhoods.
On the other hand, the sticker does offer a proverbial back door. If you don't like noises, don't honk. Now that we're thinking about it, this could be a genius strategy hiding in plain sight. This one is for thinkers. Please be quiet during your contemplation.
Dog Day Afternoon
This is a sly advertisement, but at least it's fun. If you're in the mood for a snack, few things appeal more than a bacon-wrapped hot dog, especially when you're driving some distance. The picture is good enough to eat, too.
Just one small concern: hopefully, bacon-wrapped hotdogs aren't roaming wild across the highway. This driver may well stop suddenly. Also, we hope that's not a statement implying that they won't stop for anything else. People, stop signs, and traffic lights may be lovely to add to that list.
Not a Fan
All things considered, this has to be one of the most hilarious stickers ever conceived and printed. It starts as a somewhat random declaration - or revelation - of why the sticker is there in the first place.
Then the whole thing devolves into a very acute case of oversharing before settling on a PSA about driving too close, and finally, an appeal to not damage the car any further. It's simultaneously hilarious and makes a point, which is the best kind of reading.