Getting married to the love of your life is a major life milestone. While it may appear to be an easy transition from a Miss to a Mrs., the reality may be a little more complicated. It won't be long before your arguments with your spouse revolve around trivial matters like whether or not they remembered to take out the trash after the honeymoon was over.
40 Tweets That Reveal the Funny But Painful Side of MarriagePublished 6 months ago
When it comes to arguing with your spouse, each person has a preference for how they prefer to do so. Depending on the situation, you may be subjected to a litany of indiscretions on the part of the other person, or you may be left in the dark.
However, if your partner is as perceptive (as most are), it can backfire when you give the cold shoulder by dropping hints about why you're so upset. Silence is the only way to deal with receiving the “silent treatment.” That appears to be Mark's approach in this instance, and we believe it to be ideal. Your partner will eventually have no choice but to open up to you and have a conversation with you.
To celebrate their anniversary, this man decided to take his wife out on a romantic date. Going back to the place where you had your first date could not be a better way to relive your youth. When it comes to making your partner melt, it's a simple and foolproof strategy. His wife said there was only one issue that he had to deal with, and that it was fairly typical of his personality.
In spite of the fact that she's in love with him, she can't help but notice his inability to focus. It turned out that the movie for which they had tickets was already over an hour old and was showing at a different theater. They didn't do what he had planned, but what does it matter if he thought of it?
There are certain things you can count on when you have a long-term relationship with another person. In the case of Lindsey and her husband, she requested that he hide their candy for her so that she wouldn't eat it all at once. In the end, he did exactly as instructed, but we bet he wasn't prepared for her sudden shift in position.
Another thing you'll have to get used to in married life is your spouse changing their mind at the last minute. Lindsey made the sudden decision that she had to have that candy as soon as possible, out of the blue! Her husband was torn between keeping his word and caving in to her demands. We're curious as to the outcome of that fight.
It's not uncommon to see married men with a drawer full of their old, worn-out shirts. These are items of clothing that he has been wearing for more than twenty years now. Because the condition of these clothes is so poor, you might want to explain to him that it is not safe to wear them anywhere or at any time because they are in such poor condition.
Because of this, your husband might need two different closets: one for the new shirts (which you might have helped him buy, or you might not have), and another for the old clothes he refuses to get rid of. I have high hopes that he will see the error of his ways and throw his worn-out clothes away where they belong, which is in the trash.
When it comes to sharing a bed with your significant other, you will need to take into consideration their habits when it comes to falling asleep and staying asleep. When it comes to getting into bed with your partner, you always run the risk of discovering that they are a real pain in the neck. This is a possibility that you should always be prepared for.
One night you might scream into your pillow, and the next you might snuggle up to each other and kiss goodnight. It's going to be tough to get your partner to kick their snoring or stop hogging the blankets when they're in bed with them. This feeling of melancholy at night ought to go away for those couples who love one another deeply. Please report back to us if you are successful in using it.
It's not uncommon for couples to get into arguments over money. If you have a joint bank account, this can be a particularly sensitive subject because every purchase, no matter how insignificant, can be scrutinized. Apparently, this couple is currently dealing with it. When it comes to buying "stupid stuff," the two of them just can't seem to come to terms.
What else would a dog wear to his own wedding, but Floyd seems to believe that buying him a tuxedo is a perfectly reasonable purchase. His wife is probably staring at him in disbelief as she disagrees with him to the point where she can barely speak. There is a good chance that they will be able to work out a compromise on unnecessary spending.
There are times when it feels like you can't get your spouse's attention, no matter what you say. To get them to notice your subtle hints, you start out by making them more and more obvious. Repeating how important a particular task is won't work when the obvious hints have failed, and even then you run the risk of failing to get your point across!
It would appear that this Twitter user experiences this problem frequently. She claims that she has asked her husband to carry out a certain task more than 300 times, but he has ignored her requests. It would appear that she will be required to directly question him about the matter. Although it lacks nuance, it accomplishes what it sets out to do.
It can be exciting to begin a new chapter in your life with the one you love. Living together is usually the first thing you have to get used to, and it comes with its own set of difficulties. Most people prefer to keep things the way they are because they are comfortable with it. Towels may be folded one way, but your partner prefers another!
One of you will need to make a concession and learn to adjust to the routines of the other individual. Even down to the hue of your kitchen blinds and laundry detergent, there are a lot of decisions to be made. We hope that you are successful in sticking to your new routines and we wish you the best of luck.
After a few decades of being married to the same person, you will no longer have the sensation that you have been separated from your partner for a very long time. It's possible that you won't even notice if your husband or wife goes away for a few days, and when they return, you won't feel anything close to emotional or dramatic when you see each other again.
This mother told a humorous story about her husband, and it was very entertaining. When he went to greet the dog, he had only been separated from his wife for a total of six days at that point. However, he had the opportunity to show his wife some affection by giving her a kiss before settling in with their dog for the next six days while they were forced to be apart.
It's never easy for married couples to agree on how to eat together. On the other hand, refusing a french fry (or a few) to the person with whom you spend the majority of your time seems a little mean and stingy. Then again, you prepared exactly the amount of food you desired to consume. There will be an imbalance if you give any away, so don't do it.
Is it not reasonable to suppose that the individual whom you value the most will be the one to receive it? You and your significant other are going to get into a fight if you can't come to an agreement about how many fries each of you should give up for the sake of your relationship. Regardless, this is a challenge that a lot of people have to deal with. The importance of fries cannot be overstated!
As a matter of fact, not everyone has the best memories of their past. We all know how difficult it is to remember something that has been going on for a long period of time, especially if you're the forgetful kind of person. Every time your partner has to remind you of something you should have known, they've gritted their teeth a million times.
After all, can it really be considered impolite to pose a straightforward query? This Twitter user has prepared the groundwork for a flawless confrontation while his wife is participating in a Pilates class. What an awful setting for a fight to take place in. so that she won't be sidetracked by her husband's innocence and can instead concentrate on bettering herself.
You can easily fall into the online shopping abyss. So much more convenient than getting dressed and going into a store, and you can usually expect your package the very next day if you order before noon. It appears that Dan's wife has developed a serious addiction to Amazon and eBay, receiving packages for a full week.
But what happens if Dan orders something for his own use? Her seven days of deliveries appear to have vanished from her memory, and she wonders aloud what he could have ordered. Beware of getting married and turning into a hypocrite; take this as a lesson to heart. That slippery slope could be your undoing if you're not careful.
Matthew was startled when he heard his wife scream in the kitchen. His heart sank as he jumped to his feet and dashed over to her. A scream like that usually means bad news, after all. Is this a break-in by a thief? Perhaps an enormous and possibly poisonous spider is lurking in the shadows? No, it wasn't even remotely scary at all.
When she pulled the spoon out of the pot, his wife discovered a noodle smiley face while she was simply stirring the sauce. Because she was in such shock and awe, she couldn't help but scream out in terror. We're pretty sure her husband was less than impressed, if not downright irritated after she scared him so much!
When you're too lazy to get up and do something, why not ask your partner to do it for you? Whether it's for a snack, the remote, or our cell phone, we've all been there at some point. When faced with a situation like this, what should one do? There's always the option of asking your partner, but they may see right through your ruse of laziness and refuse.
This Twitter user came up with a brilliant strategy that consistently achieves the desired results for her whenever she puts it into action. When her husband finally wakes up, the first thing she does is tell him that he has just sat on her glasses, and then she immediately asks him to bring her some food. Even though it's been so long, you'd think he'd have it figured out by now, but he hasn't!
As a married person, you must accept your spouse's sense of humor. Whether it's puns, stand-up, or slapstick, everyone has their own unique sense of humor. However, it appears that Max and his wife have different views on what is and isn't considered funny. Despite this, we think he's a little over the top with his sense of humor!
The man is clearly a fan of puns and will go to great lengths to achieve what he considers to be a successful one-line play. When his wife finds all of their mugs scattered across the front lawn, we doubt she'll be amused. In light of what she predicted, we believe that Max will engage in similar mischief on a regular basis!
When it comes to the appearance of their future spouse, everyone has their own preferences. Many people have a fantasy of the ideal height of their future spouse. If you've ever wondered what it would be like to marry someone who was just five feet two inches tall, this Twitter user has the answer. But why did he want a short wife in the first place? The answer has nothing to do with aesthetics.
Everyone else in the house was at least a few inches shorter than he was, so he hid all of his snacks on the highest shelf in their kitchen. What a clever way to ensure that you always have access to the most delicious snacks. When a man's wife decides to buy a step ladder, it will be entertaining to watch to see who gets the last laugh.
When it comes to household chores, some couples have unusual arrangements. This husband goes out of his way to warm up his wife's car in the morning. I love this! Even though he cares that she won't be stuck in a frigid car on her way to work, he will be doing this for nothing in return. It seems he gets a $10 gratuity for his services.
We anticipate that a serious conversation will take place in the near future in the event that his wife is unaware of this compromise. He might think that he is entitled to the ten dollars, but she might think that he is helping her out of the goodness of his heart. It sounds like there is a communication problem that needs to be addressed as soon as possible.
As a child, you expect to no longer have to do chores, but married life is a stark contrast. Having to deal with laundry, dishes, and garbage on a daily basis is one of the downsides of living with a partner. And the two of you are likely to get into a squabble over who has to do what. Regardless of how trivial the task is, you'll do whatever it takes to put it off for another day.
If you and your partner are constantly stuffing trash into the garbage disposal, your hands will become smelly. Even though I am aware that it would be much simpler if just one of you removed it, the task still appears to be a very large one. I believe that we can hold off for another day or two...or even a week!
Which of the following is the best way to demonstrate your undying devotion to your spouse? How long have you slept in the same bed, or do you buy each other gifts to show your affection? What if it's because you've raised kids together? These are all good examples of true love, but Marcy G's example in this tweet is the best of the best.
To be completely honest, who wakes up every day and sets four alarms to go off at five o'clock? It's unlikely that her husband will ever find another woman who loves him as much as she does while he still has her as his wife. If she can tolerate your crazy alarm clocks, that's a good indication that she's the one for you, guys.
According to the saying "opposites attract," there may be some truth to it. It's understandable that you'd be drawn to someone who can remain calm in the face of stressful situations if that's your personality type. There will inevitably be disagreements when people with different personalities come into contact...
What matters is that you're able to counterbalance each other. Do your best to be the yin to their yang, the positive to their negative, and all the other good things. Don't let your polar opposites turn into a constant battle over who's right and who's wrong! Just hope that they end up complementing each other!
After being together for a number of years, you might find that the qualities you initially found attractive in your partner have evolved. As soon as you move past the "honeymoon" stage of a relationship, things start to shift. It's possible that the first time you hear someone sneeze, it will sound like music to your ears. However, after some time has passed, you may find yourself wishing you could rip their heads off.
This Twitter user's comparison is not nearly as absurd as you might think it is! Because you care so deeply for one another, you should be able to get past the habits and sounds that irritate the other person. Before you take the plunge and say "I do," give some thought to whether or not you will be able to put up with their sniffles in ten years.
In order to get the word out about a very important Twitter message, Jessie crafted it in a way that all couples can understand. Your spouse may not hear you or forget what you said five minutes later, but that's just the way it is. However, it's preferable to feel like a broken record than to have none of your requests fulfilled.
If you asked someone to turn off the ringer on their phone, take care of a crying baby, or lower the volume on the TV, you might have to repeat yourself more than once. It's possible that the second time around you'll need to speak a little louder than the first time.
When you've been together for a long time, you should be able to tell your partner the truth. If you don't want to be honest with each other, how can you expect a healthy relationship to last? Admitting you can't do something for your spouse without whining and complaining about it is sometimes necessary. Even so, it's better to be honest about your feelings than to hide them.
James and his wife have probably had this conversation over and over again. We're not sure if she'll accept his help in exchange for her whining, or if she'll simply tune him out altogether. In spite of how irksome his answer may be to her, she can't argue with the truth!
Seeing two people find each other attractive and pursue a romantic relationship is truly amazing. When two people who have never met before become familiar with one another, feelings begin to develop. The next day, they both admit how they feel about one another, and from that moment on, they are head over heels in love with one another.
After some time has passed, they get the impression that you have grown a little too close to one another. They are now in such close proximity to one another that they can hear their own and one another's breaths. However, they do not wish for their partner to tell them this because they believe that their partner is insane. This is the path that an affectionate relationship takes. One day, you'll be the sunshine in my life. The next, your constant breathing is driving me crazy.
Is it possible to get used to being married and having children at the same time? A whole new ball game is at stake. Sleepless nights and diaper changing are common occurrences for new parents. It's understandable that a crying child would raise red flags for any parent. When he heard the shrill noise, this dad snapped to attention.
It didn't take him long to figure out that the child who was crying wasn't his or her own because her husband was there. That is very encouraging news! When we are out and about, we can only speculate how frequently something like this might occur to a newly formed family. This is a hilarious story that should serve as a lesson for people who are in a hurry to start a family of their own.
It's common for couples to divide household duties, but the tiredness factor must always be taken into consideration when deciding who has to do what. Were any of you on duty later than usual? When it comes to taking out the trash, perhaps they should be given some leniency. But that's when the battles with exhaustion really start. Who should be exempt from doing their chores because they are truly exhausted?
Even if you confront your partner and present evidence that you are the one who is more exhausted and stressed out, they may respond with their own evidence to show that you are the one who is the one who is more exhausted and stressed out. One of you will eventually be responsible for taking out the trash, even if the task is a royal pain in the posterior.
It's possible that you'll have the day to yourself if your partner has to go to work. They won't let you unwind and take advantage of your spare time; instead, they'll hand you a list of things you need to get done. But I don't think that will take too much time, do you agree? You have every intention of finishing all of the chores by the deadline, but it seems that you are unable to avoid getting distracted at any given moment.
Soon, there will probably be a special that only features Dr. Phil. Another possibility is that you were humming or singing to yourself while you were in the restroom. When they get back to their house, they will be wondering why you didn't do any of the things that were requested of you. In the meantime, they are laughing at your inability to keep track of time and rolling their eyes. Does something like this come to mind?
Sleeping with your spouse presents a few difficulties. For example, you and your partner might get into a fight over who gets the blanket or if anyone is using the mattress to its full capacity. However, the most serious problem arises when a wife abandons her husband. We don't know what it is about a woman's feet that causes them to be so unbearably cold.
It gives the impression that the wives have no regard for their husbands' ability to provide warmth when they use them as foot warmers. When a man wakes up in the middle of the night and finds that his wife's feet are covered in two blocks of ice, it is very likely that he will be taken aback by the sight. It might be worth your while to invest in some warm socks.
During the initial stages of a new relationship, everything is blissful. With each passing day, it seems as if you're becoming more and more infatuated with your significant other. After a few years, you get to know each other better and that doesn't necessarily end when you get married. For example, your conversations may touch on more banal topics...
It is possible to stage an intervention if, for instance, your partner snores or if they kick you in the night. Other potential triggers include the following: It's possible that a serious conversation about their eating habits, like how they put salt on their food or how they use napkins, is in order. After some time has passed, you will start to become aware of all of the petty annoyances, and eventually, you will bring them up in conversation!
It can be difficult for a couple to decide what to do on their first night alone together. For an evening, Mom and Dad were given the opportunity to do whatever they wanted, and the world was their oyster. However, things didn't go according to plan on their night out. Or, to put it another way, their night went exactly as planned!
For the duration of the evening, these two chose to ignore each other's suggestions for socializing, including going out to eat or taking a walk in the park. The couple decides to watch reruns of reality TV instead of going out on a date or doing anything romantically cliché. When you know what makes you happy, you'll never have a problem making your partner happy, too!
Dining out is a popular and easy date night idea for couples, whether it's a drive-thru or a fancy sit-down restaurant. One lesson that all men should take to heart, we'll let you get out a pencil and a notebook for a moment. Your wife has complete control over the side dishes you order with your meal, including fries, potatoes, and more.
When you look at it from the opposite perspective, things are very different! The way things seem to be, however, they were actually designed by nature to be this way. We are unsure of the origins of the "golden rule," but we do not anticipate that it will become obsolete in the near future.
The question of whether or not you should share food with your partner is a contentious one that has been the source of many disagreements over the years. If you enjoy eating, the thought of having to share some of your meal with someone else might make you feel a little bit downhearted. When eating an entire pizza, there is absolutely no shame in giving up one or two slices in order to make room for more.
We are uncertain whether or not Marriage Court will uphold Kalvin's case because it appears to be a weak argument. There is also the possibility that he is attempting to demonstrate that he possesses the self-control to finish the entire pizza by himself. Despite this, we have no doubt that he would be willing to share a bite in the end.
What's the point of tying the knot? The answer is yes, they want to be with their loved ones for as long as possible. That's possible, but it's not always the case. You'll be thankful you're married when you have to do things you really, really, really don't want to do in your adult life.
You've got a pizza delivery guy at the door, and you're afraid to open the door and say hello. Get your partner to handle it! Is there a phone number I should be using to reserve a table for supper? It's something your partner can handle. There are countless ways to use your spouse to do the things you despise doing!
If you and your spouse have been married for a long time, it may begin to feel like there is nothing to talk about. It may seem like there's nothing else to talk about after you've reminisced about your childhood and gushed over gossip from your friends and coworkers. There is always something to talk about between two people who are in love, even if they're just talking about a coupon at the supermarket.
Your conversations with your spouse will naturally veer off topic as both of you continue to age together. Talk about the exorbitant prices of pain relievers that require a prescription or the reasons why your children don't call you often enough. As long as you keep even a glimmer of that spark alive, the two of you will never be at a loss for things to discuss.
When you first start dating, most of your conversations will be about how you feel about each other. Discuss your aspirations and dreams, or talk about how your partner has a great sense of humor. The more time you spend together, the more routine these interactions become. You'll soon find that most of your conversations revolve around food.
A slight exaggeration, but it most certainly is something that people talk about when they get together in the office! You just can't seem to stop yourself from purchasing things that you don't require, but you never appear to have enough of the things that you do require. When my partner asks me what I need at the store, my thoughts completely blank out for a moment. It's a door that spins in a circle.
Your spouse will bring their own belongings with them when you move in together. You may discover that your spouse is a hoarder or a packrat if you hadn't previously lived with them. Unneeded and broken items are likely to fill a zillion of their moving boxes. This guy must have had to throw out his first box of random cords.
In spite of the fact that his wife was in the dark about it, he has begun a new collection. This time, he should try to conceal it in a less obvious place, preferably somewhere she won't look for it. It would be better for him to address his hoarding problem rather than attempt to cover it up.
The reason why we set different standards for our spouses and animals is unclear to me. Regardless of how loud, smelly, or messy they become, our furry friends have the power to do no wrong. We snap at our partners if they put one toe out of line. Then again, who are we to say that your husband is cuter than the family dog?
It's hard to believe that this Twitter user doesn't think her dog's snoring sounds more like a nighttime symphony than her husband's does, especially when you compare the two. The very least that can be expected of her is to be able to show some of the same compassion toward her husband that she does toward her dog.
For some people, it's impossible to let go of the habits they developed as children. Not necessarily a bad thing...unless your spouse wants you to stop it! As far as I can tell, Josh and his wife disagree on how an adult should conduct themselves. You only need to take a look at this guy's Twitter handle to get a sense of his character.
The man's only aspiration in life is to spend the entire day consuming gummy bears and wearing a onesie. There's also the possibility that his wife has a valid point. It's possible that you have some errands to run around the house, such as taking the trash out or changing the diaper of the baby. Those gummy bears will be devoured at a later time; however, now is not the appropriate moment to do so.
This is a story that every couple has heard of. If you can't hear each other, it's probably because one of you has the volume turned up way too loudly. To put it another way, there is no objective answer to the question of which one of you is right. Depending on the individual, your partner's noise tolerance may not match up with your own.
A high-quality set of headphones is an excellent purchase that could save you from having to confront each other every day. Borrowing a set of headphones is yet another choice you can make. You will either need to make a change or take no action at all if you want to put an end to the volume wars.
Many people claim that their memories are rock-solid, but this isn't always the case... unfortunately! His poor wife has to deal with the consequences of James's poor organizational skills, as he appears to be one of those people who greatly overestimate their recall abilities. If she's going to be shopping on her own from now on, we're guessing she will do so.
Even if James is confident that he doesn't need to write down the grocery list, he is very wrong. It is possible that this tweet exaggerates, but we're sure he often forgets what his wife wants him to buy at the store. We believe it's time for James to face the fact that his memory may not be as good as he thinks it is!