Too Much To Handle
Amber had been dealing with the negative health issues associated with obesity her entire life. Every doctor’s visit she was reminded of her dire situation; if she didn’t lose weight she wouldn’t live past her 30s, they told her.
Amber decided this was it, now or never. She couldn’t remember a time in her life when she wasn’t overweight and in pain. This was going to be the most difficult thing she would ever have to do, but it was time, and being surrounded by compassionate people equipped with the right tools to help her was the first step.
An Early Start
Amber had always had a difficult relationship with food. At five years old, when most kids her age weighed no more than 40 pounds, she was already 160 pounds.
She never felt full, which led to binge eating. Her weight also made it difficult for her to run and play with the other kids as she had trouble keeping up and was frequently out of breath. As a result, with little activity and constant hunger, her weight steadily rose.
A Vicious Circle
As she put on more and more weight, Amber started experiencing intense body image issues. She became crippled with insecurity and would constantly feel judged by others.
Exercise became difficult as her legs and knees were unable to support her weight. Her insecurities drove her to food for comfort and her weight continued to spiral out of control. Unable to cope, she dropped out of school and moved in with her boyfriend, Rowdy, and her parents.
The Lion’s Share
As Amber’s weight increased, so did her food portion sizes. It got to a point where she was eating five full meals a day, not counting all the sweets and desserts she snuck in-between. She knew she needed to stop, but she was helpless. Food was her coping mechanism, and due to this, she would eat her feelings, bingeing to deal with her anxiety and emotional issues.
She felt like a failure, and eating was the best way she knew to deal with it. Not only that, but her weight made her require assistance with the simplest tasks. She couldn’t fit into most cars and walking more than a few feet was too painful. If it wasn’t for her motorized scooter, she would have been totally housebound.
A Little Help
Amber did her best to hide her shame, but her parents were very aware that she felt like a failure. Whenever they accompanied her on her visits to the doctor, they too would hear the doctor’s grim prognosis regarding her lifespan.
They had been there for her throughout her life and were exactly the kind of support system she needed now that she was about to start her journey with My 600-lb Life. Amber didn’t know if the show would solve her problems but the alternative was too bleak to consider.
Taking The First Step
It would all start with a meeting with Dr. Nowzaradan. But a problem arose: she was in Oregon and he was in Houston. There was no way to make the trip except by flying, which was problematic because not only would Amber need two seats to be able to sit comfortably, but she would also have a difficult time fitting into the rows.
This struggle started a domino effect of inconveniences, which ended with her wheelchair breaking, so that her dad had to wheel her around in a luggage cart, in a crowded airport, much to her horrified embarrassment.
Breaking Bad Habits
When Amber finally had a meeting with Dr. Nowzaradan, he gave her some shocking news: though they tried to be supportive, her family and boyfriend were actually enablers because they hadn’t tried to put a stop to her unhealthy food choices and lifestyle. This led to Amber’s admission that she had gained 200 pounds since she started dating Rowdy. Rowdy had always found larger women attractive but Amber’s weight had gotten to the point where it was getting in the way of their love life.
Amber had to get serious if she was going to achieve her goal: she would have to follow a strict diet and lose 17 pounds to prove that she was serious about changing her lifestyle. If she managed to achieve her target, she would qualify for gastric bypass surgery. Her supportive parents flew to Texas to be with her through these trying times.
One Step Forward
Amber stuck to her diet and was able to lose enough weight to qualify for gastric bypass surgery but had to be taken to the hospital again just a few days later when she complained of having chest pains. What the doctors initially assumed was a cardiac arrest was discovered to be an anxiety attack; Amber needed therapy to cope with the PTSD of years of being overweight. The surgery alone wasn’t enough, but, therapy coupled with a healthy diet and exercise would give Amber a fighting chance.
And as the therapy started to take effect, Amber made other changes to her routine; she started well-being lessons where she was taught to make healthy meals at home instead of getting take-out, and started taking walks - short ones at first, because it was painful for her. Around this time, Amber started documenting her journey to share with her followers.
Hard Work Pays Off
Amber’s hard work continued to show results and made her more determined. She had lost 92 pounds; her legs were getting stronger and she was finding it easier to move.
The gym, which had always seemed so daunting before, was now within reach thanks to the surgery and Amber's efforts. She went down several dress sizes from a 6X to a 2X. Once her parents knew she was well on her way, it was time for them to head on back home to Oregon.
Miles to Go Yet
By the time the anniversary of her surgery rolled around, Amber had lost 267 pounds! As happy as she was with all her hard work paying off, she was now faced with a new problem: all this weight loss meant a lot of loose, hanging skin.
Her doctor came to her rescue for a second time by setting another goal for her: if she could lose another 140 pounds, they would surgically remove the excess skin. Amber had a new target to reach, but would she be able to?
One Milestone After Another
Amber’s determination knew no bounds. In an incredibly short amount of time, she had lost a whopping 420 pounds. Amber was a totally new person, she had oodles of self-confidence and felt the contentment she had been seeking all these years.
Not only that, but her relationships with her family and friends had improved drastically as well. Amber was ready for a do-over in life to enjoy all the experiences she had missed out on. She decided to start by going back to college and getting a degree and a job.
One Milestone After Another
Amber’s determination knew no bounds. In an incredibly short amount of time, she had lost a whopping 420 pounds. Amber was a totally new person, she had oodles of self-confidence and felt the contentment she had been seeking all these years.
But none of that mattered to Amber, who just wanted to put her huge social media following to good use to inspire anyone trying to lose weight; if she could do it, so could you. Luckily lots of people all around the world were willing to listen to her story and be inspired.
Community Support
Amber started running multiple Facebook pages where she answered questions from fans in detail. She doesn’t shy away from discussing any part of her transition with her fans; from her gastric bypass surgery to all her hard work, or even gaining weight in the first place.
But there are conditions. She does not share her diet or exercise plan with them, as they are tailored to individual needs and aren’t interchangeable. She is not a doctor or a nutritionist, but she does want to offer support and compassion so anyone going through the process knows they aren’t alone.
A Double-Take
Amber enjoys life a lot more now that she’s lost the weight. But she hasn’t become obsessed with the number on the scale. Instead, she enjoys the smaller victories, like being able to fit into a pretty, new dress she’s had her eye on, or being healthy and feeling good.
She gets recognized in the streets often because of My 600-lb Life and her social media following. She says if she dyes her hair blonde it helps her blend better with the crowd.
A Lesser-Known Disorder
Despite the awareness, eating disorders still have a stigma attached to them. What Amber had was unlike Anorexia or Bulimia: her disorder was causing her to constantly gain weight. She wasn’t eating to satisfy physical hunger, she was using food to satisfy an emotional hunger and need for validation.
But according to Amber, the reason for her success was taking responsibility for her weight instead of blaming it on external factors. She realized that her parents and boyfriend had been enablers but knew the ultimate responsibility lay solely with her; self-pity and denial would just prolong the agony, action was what was needed, which is what made her sign up for My 600-lb Life.
The Doctor Is in the House
Many of the stars of My 600-lb Life, including Amber, swear by Dr. Younan Nowzaradan and his no-nonsense attitude. The Iranian surgeon believes in a holistic approach and warns his patients that the surgery is not a quick fix; weight loss requires self-control and lifestyle changes that are not for the faint of heart.
He often refuses to even operate on someone unless they lose a certain amount of weight by sticking to a strict diet and exercise plan, proving they are serious about making changes to their lifestyle.
Surgery Is Not the Be-All-End-All
Amber’s gastric bypass surgery had a huge part to play in her weight loss, but if you ask her opinion, Amber surprisingly does not believe it has lasting effects. She says the surgery can only do so much, and that unless you put in the effort and make changes to your diet and lifestyle, you will not be able to keep the weight off.
Amber not only talks the talk, but she also walks the walk. When she dispenses advice to others about lifestyle changes, she follows it too. She goes to the gym a few times a week and eats healthy meals, mostly prepared at home.
All Good Things to Those Who Wait
Amber went through a complete physical, mental and emotional metamorphosis, truly something to be inspired by, but as she vehemently reiterates, it was not easy. It took everything she had with months of consistent hard work. Now, that she has become a household name, she uses her newfound fame to encourage other people to not give up on their goals.
There are no quick fixes and instant remedies but all the hard work pays off in the end. And what makes Amber different is her continuous weight loss after the first few hundred pounds - many have managed to lose large amounts of weight, but they struggle to keep it off, and fad diets make your weight yo-yo; as soon as you stop, all that weight comes right back.
A Change in Attitude
The physical changes are easy to see, but what becomes more apparent if you spend a few minutes with Amber is how her personality sparkles now.
She enjoys life to the fullest and celebrates her relationships and the simple things. She lives with her husband and her dogs, she still uses her social media to spread positivity, sharing things that make her happy.
Destinee Almost Figured It All Out. She Changed Her Life, But That Wasn't Enough
Losing weight can become a long and difficult journey in a world filled with diversions, whether they're emotional or physical, and for someone who battles with internal struggles, this journey can prove so much harder. This was the case for Destinee, a young woman who just wanted to fill normal in her own skin after many failed attempts.
After experiencing a lot of trauma during her upbringing, Destinee turned to food for comfort. This went on for quite a while until she decided to pull herself together and take back the control she had lost over her life. Unfortunately, the circumstances of her life led her to end them. This is her story.
This Is Destinee, and She Is Seeking Hers
Meet Destinee. You may recognize her if you watch the TLC show, My 600 Lb. Life. Destinee showed up on the program and began enchanting hearts immediately. You see, Destinee never felt like she fit in-- at school, among friends, and even within her own body.
Destinee was actually born Matthew, and she is the second transgender woman to participate in My 600 Lb. Life, a show that aims to help morbidly obese Americans lose weight, keep it off, and find their own happiness. Destinee appeared on the show's seventh season and immediately developed a cult following.
Not a Show Without Controversy
My 600 Lb. Life has been airing on the TLC television network since 2012, where it has gained both a following and many scandals. Show participants must be over 490 lbs (220 kgs) and must be committed to losing weight. Each episode follows a year in the life of a participant, although the first season gave participants seven years.
Each participant is given bariatric surgery-- usually either gastric bypass or a sleeve gastrectomy-- to set them on their weight loss journey. The average participant loses anywhere from 200-300 lbs, providing hope to many and proving that anyone can take up a healthy lifestyle-- even when it seems impossible.
Is It Just a Feeding Fest For the Morbidly Curious?
But since its inception, My 600 Lb. Life has been followed by scandal. Many fat-activists claim the show is a modern-day freak show, where the average person can gawk at people who are so mentally unsound, they abuse their bodies. Activists also claim the show does not help these troubled people in the long run.
At least six former participants have died during or shortly after their episodes were filmed. Many of these deaths were as a result of their weight, although none were as a result of their weight loss. Proponents for the show say that showing this grim reality of morbid obesity educates viewers on why it's important to maintain a healthy weight.
A Troubled Upbringing for a Wonderful Person
But let us get back to Destinee. As a young person, Destinee was brought up in foster care and developed bad eating habits as the result of an emotionally turbulent childhood. Born to a teenage mother in a biracial relationship, Destinee's mother got no support for her three kids. By the age of four, Destinee and her two brothers had ended up in foster care. At the age of nine, Destinee (then Matthew) was over 150 lbs, and by the age of fifteen, she weighed 350 lbs.
By the time Destinee came out as transgender at the age of 22, she weighed over 400 lbs. Five years later, she appeared on the show at a grand total of 669 lbs. Destinee knew that it was time for a change, but she did not even know where or how to begin.
A Beautiful Girl With a Lot of Problems
After her horrible upbringing, Destinee was still struggling. When she, as Matthew, came out as gay at eighteen, not everyone in her sprawling family accepted it. And when she came out as Destinee at the age of 22, things simply got worse.
Right before TLC began filming the show, Destinee had suffered another horrifying situation: her brother, who she was very close to, died in her arms. Anthony had just come back from the hospital after minor surgery but wound up having a blood clot. Destinee blames herself for her brother's death, by saying if she were more fit, she could have better cared for him.
She Was Tired of This Life
Destinee's depression was severe at the beginning of her episode, and she described her life as laying in bed, waiting to eat, while the simple act of getting out of bed was exhausting for her physically and emotionally. 'Food is the only thing I have to turn to," she confided, and sadly shared that "[she] can feel it killing [her]."
"My body can't take getting any bigger than I've already let it" she added, "they're going to be burying me next." But Destinee was ready and committed to making a change. In charge of her sexuality and her gender, now it was time to take charge of her weight and be the beautiful woman she always knew she was on the inside.
Now, It's Time to Meet Dr. Now
TLC's program follows. Dr. Younan Nowzaradan, also called Dr. Now is a celebrity bariatric surgeon who is committed to helping morbidly obese patients, like Destinee, lose weight, get into healthy routines, and live their best lives. Destinee traveled to Houston from her home in Louisianna to meet with Dr. Now and begin taking the first steps into her new world.
Reportedly, less than 5% of Dr. Now's patients wind up conquering their challenges and losing the weight they need to live a healthy life. With the crucial support of her sister and mother, Destinee was ready to make some serious changes.
The Struggle Was Real
Destinee did not have an easy time whatsoever. Before her surgery, she made a goal of losing 80 lbs within the first two months. But after her mother got sick with heart problems, Destinee made some bad food choices in order to comfort herself. She only wound up losing 24 lbs.
Dr. Now told Destinee he was sorry for all of her problems, but reminded her that stress was always going to be a part of her life. No matter what was going on, she needed to find a way to deal with it in a healthy manner. "You're not showing me there is any real desire to put effort into saving your life," he told the frustrated woman, before giving her one more chance to lose that 80 lbs before he would approve her surgery.
But Things Didn't Go as Planned
After two more months of hard work, Destinee begged Dr. Now to permit her once more to make changes. While she was working hard, Destinee didn't feel that she was quite ready. But by the third month in her journey, she began to have severe stomach troubles. Her mom made her go back to Dr. Now, who took this pain very seriously.
Dr. Now discovered that while Destinee was working hard, she had barely lost any weight at all-- only about 17 lbs. He checked her for physical problems and determined that her pain was coming from binging: Destinee was doing well on her diet, but whenever she faced emotional troubles, she would overeat.
She Needed to Fix Her Emotional Trauma Before Her Waistline
Dr. Now has dealt with many patients like Destinee, and he knew exactly how to help her. He arranged for her to begin meeting with a local therapist, knowing that psychotherapy would help her get her emotional health into proper order so that she could begin working on her physical health.
Dr. Now told Destinee that he thought she was relying on the surgery to heal her completely, which is a setup for failure. The surgery can only help so much-- the rest of it has to be done by the patient. If Destinee can't manage to heal her emotional hurt, she would be kicked out of the program and never receive her surgery.
Therapy Did the Trick
Destinee soon started therapy, and really hit it off with her therapist. Dr. Lola Clay. "You have to give yourself permission to be who you are, no matter what others think," was the lesson repeated over and over. "You're more significant than the body that you're in."
Her work with Dr. Clay helped Destinee to cement her identity and also find things to work on and move towards. Dr. Clay helped her look back on her past and solve the issues that lead to all of her weight troubles-- such as losing her brother. Most importantly, she taught Destinee how to give herself permission to be both happy and healthy.
This Time, She Was Determined to Succeed
After her first two months' failure, she decided to change her environment completely-- by moving to Houston. Living in Louisianna made it difficult to change her bad habits. And being in Houston meant she was closer to Dr. Now, making it easier to get better help. Dr. Now requires patients to have family living with them-- but Destinee knew she would be better off alone.
Once she was by herself in Houston, Destinee really buckled down on eating well and exercising. By the end of her first year working with Dr. Now, she was permitted to have gastric sleeve surgery, which dropped her down to 440 lbs. It may not seem like much, but she lost over a third of her original body weight to get there.
She Lost 220 Lbs. By the End of Her Episode!
The picture below is not a MySpace angle or even a Snapchat filter. After her 220 lb. weight loss, Destinee looks like a whole new person. But even more important, she feels like a whole new person.
Where many of the pictures of her prior to her weight loss showed a sick, young woman, lying in bed and not taking care of herself, now, you can tell that her confidence is soaring. She wears makeup. She dresses up nicely. And most importantly, she smiles and looks beautiful while doing it.
Before and After From November
These pictures were shared on Destinee's Instagram account not long after her episode aired. Seeing the number 220 lbs is one thing, but seeing the actual, physical difference between the Destinee before and the Destinee after is absolutely stunning. With her confidence skyrocketing, nothing seemed to hold her back anymore.
Now that she knows weight loss is possible and she knows how to do it, she feels like she can do anything she sets her mind to. And her positivity is infectious, as you will see. Those who have been following her journey since the beginning continue to follow her-- whether she's having a good weight loss day or still struggling.
Her Fan Following Has Grown As Her Weight Has Dropped
A single look at any of Destinee's social media will prove that fans are super involved in her continued success. Often, they use these spaces in social media to talk about their own, similar troubles, whether it be coming out as gay or transgender to their family, or dealing with their own weight issues.
And Destinee, positive and loving as she is, is only too happy to reach back out and comfort her fans. She believes that sharing her journey will help countless others come to discover their own, true selves.
Reach Out To Destinee and Join in The Journey
Want to reach out to Destinee about your own troubles? Well, her social media is easy to discover. Her Instagram, for instance, chronicles her post-My 600 Lb. Life weight loss journey. But she also uses it to celebrate her new life.
If you are looking for someone who will tell you the weight loss journey is easy, look somewhere else. Destinee shares her truths, and that includes the bad days. But each and every message is tinged with Destinee's positive outlook, love, and joy. For instance, check out this recent picture she shared...
A Gorgeous Queen, Living Her Best Life!
This little fan found Destinee at her job at Lowe's Home Improvement and asked for a snapshot. Destinee appears to have lost even more weight, and she's not only looking like she is taking better care of herself is that she is happy in her new body. In total, Destinee was able to get rid of nearly 500 lbs and weighed about 207 lbs in 2021.
One of Destinee's biggest fears was losing her curves as she lost weight, or losing the feminine form that the extra weight granted her. It's clear to see that Destinee still has, 'all the right curves in all the right places,' despite her dramatic weight loss. A true success story!
The End
Unfortunately, Destinee's story ended abruptly and tragically in 2022. On February 10th, 2022 Destinee's brother confirmed via Facebook that the beloved young woman was found dead. "I’m sorry you felt alone, I’m sorry you felt you had nobody else to turn to... I’m sorry you felt you had no other option Destiny wouldn’t [have wanted] this," he wrote in a heartbreaking post.
Destinee's death is believed to be a possible suicide. She had attempted suicide in the past. Although Destinee's death is a tragedy, her life did inspire those who bore witness to her journey and her transformation, and there's always hope that she will go on to motivate those who knew her to never give up on themselves.