Starting With the Living Room - Without Its Furniture
In most instances, the living room is the heart of the home. It’s where people can expect to spend a large amount of time watching the telly, chatting with family, or curled up reading a book. Sandy’s living room looks well used, with the furniture set up for comfort. However, tenants won’t be able to enjoy these perks.
Sandy makes a conscientious effort to let prospective tenants know that all of the furniture belongs to him, saying “All of this is coming with us because the flat comes unfurnished”. Unless future tenants have a desk, a couch, plants, lamps, and cushions, they will be arriving at a very empty living room.
A Very Unique Smell Haunts the House
A proud homeowner will go out of their way to make their space comfortable and cozy. Every small detail is important in achieving this such as decor, cleanliness, and, of course, the smell of the home. Sandy makes sure that prospective tenants are adequately warned about the different odors that waft into the apartment.
Pointing the camera out of the blinds, Sandy reveals that the neighborhood bins are collected right outside the living room window. As if that wasn’t enough, he sarcastically adds, “Lovely in the summer when it’s hot.” There’s nothing like the smell of trash that has been stewing in the sun!
Some Existing Tenants Won’t Leave
Making sure that no stone goes unturned, Sandy politely informs the video that there are ants in the flat. Pointing the camera at the ant bait station, prospective tenants are made aware that they’ll be sharing the home with a few pests that don’t follow the instructions of the landlord.
Sweeping the camera across the rest of the living room, Sandy lingers on the fireplace, pointing out that it doesn’t work. While an obsolete fireplace in summer may not matter, tenants may feel differently in the heart of winter.
Don’t Put Too Much Faith in the Shelves
While Sandy makes it abundantly clear that the flat comes unfurnished, and the comfortable furniture will be evicted with him, there are a few features that will be left behind. This includes the shelves. However, they don’t offer much value.
Showing off the shelves, Sandy highlights that they were put together with poor workmanship. He says, “The boy who put them in must have been drunk when he did it because there’s about a 30-degree angle on them.” At least they were warned!
A Real Subtle Message (in Case You Didn’t Get the Hint)
Up until this point, most people watching the video would have had a giggle or two. If anyone was interested in renting the apartment, they are probably second-guessing their choice. Just in case the garbage bins, the ant bait station, broken fireplace, or slanted shelves didn’t persuade viewers otherwise, Sandy left a very ‘subtle’ message.
Walking through the hallway as he moves to the kitchen, Sandy passes a piece of paper that has been stuck up on the wall. The words are obvious and the message is clear, saying “Don’t rent this flat!”
Good Luck Cooking With the Electric Stove and Oven
Have you ever calculated the cost of eating out versus preparing meals at home? Not only are home-cooked meals often healthier than fast-food takeouts, but they are usually more affordable in the long run. However, you need functional cooking appliances to make this a lifestyle.
Unfortunately for anyone who wants to move into Sandy’s apartment, time in the kitchen may prove to be a challenge. Scanning the camera over the meal prep area, Sandy says, “Electric hob and oven, that’s complete pish”. Alright then, Uber Eats it is!
Some Items Will Stay, Other Items Will Go
Making the most of the space in the home, a washer-dryer that comes with the apartment sits under the kitchen counter. But before anyone can get their hopes up, Sandy shatters dreams of clean, warm, and dry clothes. He says, “Although it’s not really a dryer unless you like your clothes still wet and smelling a bit funny.”
Clearly, the kitchen doesn’t offer much storage space because the camera then moves to a set of shelves holding food. Again, Sandy makes a disclaimer saying, “These shelves are ours and they’re coming with us. I think that the boy who did the living room did the kitchen as well cause he only did f*@king half of it.”
The Extractor Fan That Drowns Out Thoughts
Considering all that is wrong with the kitchen, it’s probably for the better that the kitchen is largely left alone. Not to mention the extractor fan that does an awful job at removing airborne grease, combustion products, and steamy air. However, it does do a brilliant job at making noise.
As Sandy presses a few buttons on the extractor fan, it comes alive with a loud whirring sound, causing Sandy to shout at the camera. He yells, “When you put it on, you can’t hear yourself f*@king think!”
Just When You Think It Can't Get Any Worse
Sandy leaves the kitchen with one more biting insult and a story to back up his claims. Grabbing the handle of the door, he reveals that the door doesn’t close properly.
He shares his story saying, “I got locked in the kitchen bout half a year ago ‘cause the door handle broke. And the boy who came around to fix it just pulled it out.” Needless to say, if you’re looking for a room to be alone and undisturbed, the kitchen is not it!
A Quick Overview of the Bathroom
After spending a fair bit of time in the kitchen, Sandy does a quick overview of the bathroom. Before going into the basic setup, he angles the camera onto the mirror which shares another not-so-subtle message reading “You will hate it here”.
He then does a quick scan of the bathroom, pointing out the “Shower. Bath. Sink. Toilet” without much enthusiasm. If you were hoping for something special or some space to dance and sing in your bathrobe, you won’t find it here.
The Bathroom Extractor Fan Is No Better Than the Kitchen
What is it with extractor fans that always let us down? Tasked with removing the moisture in the air, the bathroom extractor fan is responsible for getting rid of dampness from the bathroom. However, when Sandy first moved in, the extractor fan wasn’t working at all.
Sharing his experience, he says, “When we first moved in this extractor fan wasn’t even working, and I had to take a video of it not working before the landlady would send someone around to fix it.” We wonder how that video was received….
Don’t Count on the Floor Being Level
There are a few structural elements in the home that you expect to be in good shape. For example, the flooring of a home is one of these details that you expect to be reliable. However, Sandy reminds everyone watching the video that a level floor should not be taken for granted.
He says, “I think the same clown who did the shelves in the living room did this floor because it’s like walking in the funhouse at Links market.” Well, that doesn’t sound much fun at all!
Why Not Add a Few Ghosts to the Mix
If a few slanted shelves and a largely nonfunctional kitchen doesn’t dissuade prospective tenants then maybe the presence of ghosts will. Taking a chance that some tenants are scared of the supernatural, Sandy passes a sign saying “There is a ghost whoo!” en route to the garden.
He also takes the time to point out that the door gets stuck in the winter as the wood expands when it’s wet. Again, Sandy blames, “the big buckle who built it”. To be honest, we’re not holding much hope for the garden...
A Hell Hole of a Garden
Having garden space in London is a luxury. When you’re surrounded by large buildings and bustling traffic, a quiet place in the sun can offer comfort. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case for Sandy when he first moved in. He shares, “This is the garden. It was an absolute hell hole when we arrived and we completely renovated it.”
The garden doesn’t look half-bad on camera, although one section does seem to be overgrown with suspicious plants. Adding a touch of petty banter, Sandy continues to say, “These plants are all ours, we’ll be digging them out before we go. The place will end up looking like the Somme.”
A Highly Advanced Barrier to Entry
It’s not unusual for homes in London to be positioned close to their neighbors and even connected in many instances. But that doesn’t mean that the barrier between the two properties needs to be crude. Sandy points the camera at their dismal wall and says, “Marvel at this feat of engineering. Three separate fences, all pish.”
Before leaving the garden, Sandy takes the time to point out a black box intended to catch rats. He says, “There’s a rat box because there’s a terrible rat problem. Not that it makes any difference. You could feed them plutonium, the little bastards will still keep coming back.”
Let’s Not Forget About the Bedroom
Even if you can handle the small bathroom, the shoddy garden, and lack of furniture, most people would hope that they could find some solace in the bedroom. Sandy suggests otherwise with his tour of the apartment’s bedroom. There’s another sign stuck to the wall, trying to dissuade tenants from renting the place.
Sandy then continues to point out that “That blind’s our” and highlights that there’s mold growing on the ceiling. He says, “There’s a damp problem up here. I told the landlady about it and she sent an email back saying to keep the place well ventilated. In f*@king January!”
“Oh Sorry, One Last Final Thing”
Up until this point, viewers have only seen half of Sandy’s legs and his slipper shoes as he navigates the camera around the apartment with running commentary. However, if you’ve made it to the end of the video, then you’re in for a sweet reward as Sandy does a big reveal.
Pointing the camera at the mirror on the wardrobe, Sandy shows himself to be dressed in a ridiculous combination of his fiancé’s undies and a pair of sunglasses. He concludes his video by saying, “Oh sorry, one last final thing. This wardrobe. That’s ours. It’s coming with us. Don’t vote Tory.”
In just over a day, the video racked up almost seven million views and nearly 80,000 retweets. Shocked at the virality of the video, Sandy tweeted, “2 million people have seen me in my fiancé’s pants. Is *this* the new normal?!”
In just over a day, the video racked up almost seven million views and nearly 80,000 retweets. Shocked at the virality of the video, Sandy tweeted, “2 million people have seen me in my fiancé’s pants. Is *this* the new normal?!”
Where Is Sandy Now?
Although the video was hilarious and caused quite a stir, Sandy and his fiancé still had to move out of the apartment. After his video went viral, plenty of people offered the actor and his partner a place to stay. In the end, the couple accepted an offer from some mates for a cheaper flat.
Sandy finished off the epic tale saying, “Thank you, That’s really kind of you! We have a couple of amazing friends who are letting us their flat for way less than we are currently paying! So good eggs all around.” Either way, we’re pretty certain that the landlord received the message loud and clear!
These Are the Worst Neighbors You Could Think of...
Since climate change will make our species extinct in a few years, we're really all for upcycling. After all, who can be against a practice that can arguably help prevent the doom and gloom that awaits? And, sure, a toilet that's been turned into a basin for a plant is a wonderful idea. It's just that.. sometimes, too much of a wonderful idea can be a bad thing.
This particular neighbor—this enviro-nazi—wasn't content with just a single potty plant. Oh no, they had to ruin what was supposed to be a well-manicured suburban oasis by putting a dozen of them out on the front yard for all the world to see, flushing out the neighborhood's collective well-being down the toilet in the process.
Serves You Right, Bob
We suspect that all of this was a result of Bob pestering his neighbors about painting their fence a little too much. Most of us would have simply told Bob to mind his own business. But most of us aren't like Bob's neighbor, who is a master at getting his point across by straddling that middle fence between hilarity and insolence.
"Look Bob, I've painted my fence" was simply Bob's neighbor's way of saying 'look, Bob, you are annoying as hell, and you should stay in your place.' It's creative, really—actually more than creative, it's genius.
Mooning The Neighbor
Sometimes dropping your drawers, bending over, and stooping indecently to give your neighbor the full moon is just, shall we say, a little too much. We don't want our insult to be too injurious, after all. Rather, we want it to draw just the right amount of injury.
And what can be a better substitute to our fleshy hindquarters than a shrub that's been meticulously sculpted in its shape? Nothing, of course! I mean, sure, it might have taken hours to create. But the reaction of the neighbor in the picture confirms that it was all worth it.
Lazy Holiday
Everybody likes holidays. Classes are often canceled, and it's an excuse to celebrate. But if you're lazy and you have a neighbor like Bob above, who will nag you to put up decorations, then holidays can be quite annoying.
But pictured is an example of what you can do if you're too lazy to decorate—i.e., you can decorate your home so you won't have to ever again. As you can see, the insane owner of this home threw in some skeletons for Halloween, a wreath for Christmas, and a bunch of Independence day decor. His neighbors probably think he's crazy, but so what, at least he'll never have to decorate for those holidays ever again.
When Fights Get Crazy
If you have a neighbor that is borderline psychotic, it's best to just accommodate him whenever possible, because he might just do something similar to what's pictured below.
One neighbor decided to build a wired fence that occupied half of the other's driveway because, "technically," it's his property anyway. We predict that it's going to be a miserable, tension-filled, neighborly life between these two.
What In The World?
There's nothing that pulls home prices down like a crazy, neck-bearded stereotype living in the neighborhood. Home prices will be pulled down even further if said crazy, neck-bearded individual fancies hanging out on his roof for the whole neighborhood to see.
You're probably asking yourself: 'what the hell is he doing up there?' Well, we have no idea, too. All we know is that we'd want to live as far away from these types of people as much as possible.
Don't Ask Us
We have absolutely no idea as to what can be the reason for a huge paper-mâché elephant to be sitting in someone's driveway. But what's certain is that, whatever the reason is, the sculpture must be driving the whole neighborhood crazy.
The damn thing looks real from a distance, and no doubt many have been left befuddled for more than a few moments as they passed by. All we know is that, if we were living in the neighborhood, we'd be demanding that someone explain the existence of this annoying hunk of garbage.
Not The Best Idea
In fact, it's a horrible idea. Not only will his neighbors have to listen to the sound of his lawnmower, but they'll also have to live through the sound of his motorbike, as it lugs the lawnmower along. This man clearly doesn't give a rodent's posterior about his neighbors who will be bleeding in their ears because of his red-necked shenanigans.
And, what's worse is that—look at the picture—he is clearly singing! Whatever your views are on abortion, this man surely makes a good case for its mass implementation.
He Is Snow Bad
We get that people need to shovel snow on occasion, we get that it's a grueling job, but please, for the love of all things sacred, don't do what this man is doing! He's clearing his driveway of snow by dumping it right into someone else's driveway, which is no different from someone clearing his yard of dog poop by hurling it over someone else's fence.
Hopefully whoever took this photo had it plastered all over the neighborhood, so this guy's scumbaggery doesn't go unrequited.
What On Earth?
It's like the owner of this house told himself "I know exactly what my front yard needs: a huge pink elephant having a cocktail, and a bunch of flamingoes mindlessly scattered about!"
And if you have a neighbor like that, who has these kinds of ideas in his head, then you're probably better off pretending to be gone when he comes over to borrow some brown sugar.
We've Got A Real Genius Right Here
So this neighbor wanted some security, but (probably) didn't have the money for it, and therefore decided to put the security—i.e., a gate—only where he thought it'd be needed the most: on the driveway. Of course, what he did here didn't bring him an atom closer to what he intended, which makes it so baffling.
We are hoping that this is some kind of joke, or is a misleading photo of the early stages of the gate's installation, because if the homeowner seriously believed that he'd be able to keep people out with that thing, then he is definitely not someone who anyone in the right frame of mind should be comfortable living within the same neighborhood.
You're Not Getting In Here
No, we didn't make a mistake and post the picture on the wrong side up. And, no, this isn't a house that's just been carried by a tornado; this is an actual weird house than an actual weird person built.
Yeah, sure, the house is pretty unique. And, sure, it probably gets some stares and adds some flavor to the neighborhood. But the subliminal message the house sends to the neighbors—and to everyone else for that matter—is this: "get lost; you are never entering my house." Which is not really neighborly, if you ask us.
Might Be Too Much
We're not so sure that there's anything to be upset about here. The owner of the home on the left has an excessive, almost erotic, interest in himself, and wants to be the star of every show, while the owner of the home on the right is the exact opposite. So, really, they seem to be neighbors that perfectly complement each other.
It's clear, however, that there's a deeper pathology that exists in the homeowner of the house on the left that explains his decision to decorate his home in such an ostentatious manner while being unmindful of the sleeping habits of his neighbors.
Dropping Bombs
These guys might as well juggle grenades among their neighbors since it's just as dangerous as what they're doing here. Hurling objects out the window and risking maiming one of their neighbors is definitely as invidious a practice as anything can get, especially if it's sheer laziness that is causing one to do so.
Hopefully, no one died from the falling furniture. And if you've got neighbors as venturesome as these, then you might want to reconsider your enthusiasm for remaining in the neighborhood.
Donkey Mail
We're not sure who the bad neighbor is here, whether it's the one who stuck this image of a donkey to his mailbox, or it's the one complaining about it.
Maybe both of them are. After all, one has to wonder about the pathology behind someone sticking an image of a donkey to his mailbox, as well as why anyone on the sideline who has no claim to the said mailbox would think it his business to complain about it.
Seriously, Really?
One neighbor's dog attacked the dog of another, and when the former threatened to take the latter to a small claims court, well, the latter was none too happy about it.
Of course, it's bad enough that an innocent dog got hurt, but for one to compound his offense by doing a jerk move such as this is really one for the books. Hopefully, his Great Dane realizes what a bad owner he is and, well, eats him.
At Least These Two Get Along
Sometimes neighbors prank each other all in good fun. Like what's pictured below, one prankster put a realistic-looking velociraptor outside his neighbor's window in the middle of the night to scare the bejeesus out of him when he gets up.
The neighbor who woke up to the face of this velociraptor must have peed in his jammies thinking a post-apocalyptic dinosaur invasion—a la Jurassic Park—was on its way.
Firefighters Making Fun Of Cops
The firefighters who posted this picture hilariously captioned it with: "Our fire station is next door to the Police department. Pranks ensue."
We doubt any cops were actually caught (although, who knows), but the intention behind it was to reiterate the stereotype that cops keep stuffing their faces with doughnuts.
Looks Like a Good Idea
This is, however, another of those things that we're not so sure about. I mean, would we rather be the neighbor of whoever made this kid-eating snowman, or the neighbor of those kids who this snowman is supposed to scare away?
Either case seems horrible. But if the creator of the snowman did all this because of some peculiar sense of humor and not because he's some Norman Bates-style psychopath, then I suppose we'd take him over a bunch of annoying kids who won't stop stepping on our lawn.
Do You Smell What The Rock Is Cooking?
Clearly, the intention behind this cardboard cutout of The Rock is to scare would-be neighbors from even thinking about coming over to borrow some gardening tools, some brown sugar, or whatever it is people are known to disturb their neighbors for.
And it probably works, too, because, from a distance, it certainly looks as though a menacing and muscular bald individual is standing by the door, looking out, and is rather weirdly raising one eyebrow.
Welcome To Disturbia
This man posing in the way he is is quite literally the stuff of nightmares. We have absolutely no idea what the hell he is doing, or why he's sitting like that dressed as Elton John dressed as Black Panther. But what's certain is that he is absolutely terrifying.
Is he trying to scare someone by behaving in a manner that's so incongruous with normal human behavior? Whatever the case may be, he is definitely not someone anyone in the right frame of mind will want to go near, let alone live with in the same neighborhood.
Freddy Kruger Peeping At Ya
One can literally die by a heart attack from this. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night only to see Freddy Kruger peeping at you from outside your window—if that doesn't give you a heart attack, then nothing will.
Of course, if one survived the momentary brush with death, then there is absolutely no reason for him to not appreciate the prank, laugh it off, and plan his revenge.
We're Confused
We don't really know what went on here, whether someone complained about the flamingoes or whether the flamingoes were put here as a response to someone's complaint. In either case, what the hell do a bunch of plastic flamingoes have to do with anything?
We guess that the owner of this lawn put out a few flamingoes only to have someone call the police because of how ugly it seemed. The police went over, laughed at how ridiculous the call was about, and left. So the flamingo-loving lawn-owner decided to put MORE flamingoes to piss off his neighbors. It's a very weird story still, but it's the best we can come up with to describe what happened.