Of course, not all breakups are done equally. And if one partner is still trying to win the other back or doesn't seem to realize the relationship is over, things can only get worse. Then, things can either progress to a critical stage or go horribly wrong. Here is a collection of the most hilarious and scathing text messages ever exchanged between exes. Pick one and stash it away for the next time your ex sends you a nagging message.
Not Your Own Private Club
There are some exes who are willing to say or do anything in order to bring back together their former partners. This ex-lover went to the extreme of making up a reason to get in touch again, which shows just how serious their intentions were.
However, they failed to take into account the fact that their partner most likely already knows them fairly well and is capable of playing the same games as them, only better. As a result, one shouldn't have been caught off guard by the response. What a weak and ineffective effort!
You're Going To See Me Online
Simple questions only require simple solutions. Even though it may not be the response you were hoping for, at least it is a logical one to consider. After getting such a scathing response, you won't have the guts to ask the same question ever again, will you?
That is an accurate description of what this one does! This seemingly simple question actually contained a significant amount of optimism. And their previous partner was able to dash all of those expectations with a single response that was uncomplicated. Directly stated, but with no sugarcoating!
That's the Excuse to End All Excuses!
There is nothing more effective than an excuse when it comes to avoiding a certain person. Although explanations have their uses, some of them are so lame that they stink! This text conversation between two former partners should be entered into the justifications hall of fame.
Their brilliant/lame justification for not responding to their ex right away, despite the fact that they probably just forgot to respond, makes us laugh so hard that we can't help but laugh at it (really shows how much they care about their ex). At least we know they put effort into maintaining their personal cleanliness now!
When I'm Gone, You're Going to Miss Me
In most cases, we harbor the expectation that things will be put to rest or, at the very least, that we will be given some form of resolution following a lengthy and comprehensive explanation of what took place. I just wanted to let you know that is not always the case.
Even if you put in a lot of work, it's possible that you won't be able to accomplish everything you set out to do. This poor ex-spouse has been through that very thing. After they had expressed regret for their many errors and been looking forward to the first replay, they must have been devastated when they heard that perfect response.
Never Have Time for You
There is nothing more ideal than a snappy response that is also well-phrased to an absurd question! When someone is so uninformed that they choose to ignore the context, they occasionally find themselves on the receiving end of a blow to the face.
This former partner was unquestionably motivated to initiate a conversation or take action in order to win back their former partner. And up until they got this perfectly accurate response in return, it was a good attempt on their part! Oh, the healing process for this burn will most certainly take some time.
The Ideal Way to Begin a New Year
A common goal for the start of the new year is to improve one's romantic life. Why not give an old one another shot, especially considering how well the two of you already get along? Unfortunately, not everyone will have success with that strategy.
Clearly, this was not the response that they had hoped to get from the audience. We are grateful for the gracious manner in which their ex-partner let them down while remaining adamant about their requirements. Having a constructive outlook on life will, without a doubt, assist you in making it through the year.
Brand-New Phone, Who’s Calling?
After a breakup, the most effective and straightforward method for moving on is to simply put your former partner out of your mind. That's how easy it is to understand! This seems to have actually taken place in this scenario, albeit perhaps with a little bit of an overabundance of success.
In spite of the fact that we do not know how much time has passed since they last communicated with one another or whether or not the other person meant it in a literal sense, there is no denying that it was a poor choice in any case! It's possible that they should start fantasizing about something else now!
A Dream Dies Last
Dreams have the potential to illuminate our most secret yearnings, but they also have the potential to be an incomprehensible jumble that we will never be able to decipher. On the other hand, our lives aren't always as perfect as we'd like them to be, particularly in terms of the relationships we've had in the past.
It would appear that the dream of one person was the nightmare of the other person in this particular instance. Even though this was unquestionably a devastating blow, there are times when you simply have to learn to accept reality and let go of your impossible hopes. Sweet dreams to you!
There Is No Other Way to Put It!
This kind of response is very painful! And it is abundantly clear that the exes did not plan on this happening. The contact information for this former partner, on the other hand, pretty much says it all. The most important thing that you should take away from this is that you should avoid asking questions to which you don't want the answer.
It is necessary to provide explanations. When the explanation is as sassy as this, it's probably for the best (at least for us; probably not so much for the ex...) After what must have been an extremely painful experience for them, we can only hope that their exes will finally get the message and stop trying to get in touch with them.
Sorted Priorities
It is important for each of us to examine where our priorities lie in life. It is of even greater significance in the event that your relationship ends. This former couple, or at least one of them, seems to have their act together in this regard.
This young lady has a very clear sense of organization regarding her priorities. She is aware, now that she is older, of the aspects of her previous relationship that she will miss after they end their time together. The day went very poorly for this ex-boyfriend, that much is certain.
Approach Is Half the Value
Repeating everything that another person says, or writes, is a tried-and-true method for provoking annoyance in someone you dislike or want to tease. This tactic is guaranteed to work, whether you're dealing with a vindictive ex-partner, a harping relative, a squabbling sibling, or a bothersome friend from your childhood.
This individual has reached a point where they are proficient in the use of this strategy against their former partner. It is also hilarious in its own right! As a result of either party's irritation, the conversation may come to a complete halt. This person will undoubtedly use this fail-safe strategy each and every time their ex sends them a text message.
Not Even Worth a Reply
It is extremely important to be able to say "no," and there are many appropriate ways to do so. However, there aren't many that are as simple to grasp as this one is. It is important to remember when and how to draw the line in this manner.
It's possible the boy didn't have any intent at all. It's possible that the young lady rushed to make her decision. Despite this, there are indications that the girl is aware of what will take place in the following sentences. After that, she laid down some very specific ground rules.
Holiday Text
At least once in our lives, each of us has been put through the ordeal of receiving a "holiday text from an ex." But I seriously doubt that any of us handled the situation as well as this lovely lady did! This girl is unquestionably skilled in the art of evacuating one's life of an unwanted ex-lover.
It is considered polite to reconnect with a former partner on holiday, or at the very least, to send holiday greetings and best wishes their way. This poor man almost certainly was thinking the same thing. But he was completely unaware that this was the answer that was sitting here for him to find!
Try Your Best!
There will be times when your efforts are initially unsuccessful. However, there is no harm in making additional attempts, is there? I take it back—not always! You just have to be able to recognize when to stop trying and be okay with being told "no" from time to time!
This ex was so determined to win back their lover that they didn't even care when they were told they had missed their opportunity. They have tolerated their exes for a number of months, but it appears that they have reached their limit now. They have obviously come to the conclusion that it is best for them to move on. There is no longer any possibility!
Constant Mishaps!
Accidents do occur. And every once in a while, they happen repeatedly. Possibly as a result of thinking along those lines, this former partner has come up with the completely absurd justification that they kept calling their former partner and pretended it was an accident. This justification claims that they did this repeatedly.
If you don't want to talk to your ex ever again, here's some guidance for the person who is getting all of those annoying phone calls: if you don't want to hear from them, just block their phone number. This is not a challenging topic in the least!
More Than Words
We frequently use the expression "a picture is worth a thousand words" in everyday conversation. When you want to explain something to someone or provide them with information without having to use your fingers too much, a few pictures can be very helpful.
That is precisely what transpired after the ex-boyfriend made the decision to prod a little bit. That was a quick and perceptive response, thank you. And this from someone who, without a doubt, is aware of the old adage that one picture is worth a thousand words. We are sorry, but we meant one thousand burns!
Don’t Hold It In
You just need to open up every once in a while and let everything out. In a frantic text message sent at midnight to your ex, you try to get everything out at once. It’s okay, but it ultimately might be misunderstood. It’s not the healthiest way of dealing with things.
And in some situations, that is not the most effective course of action at all! Especially if your previous partner is as cunning and vicious as this one is. Therefore, the next time you are considering making such an idiotic move to clear your conscience, you should give it some serious thought first.
Stay In Your Lane
You've only ever had one job, so you should make every effort to keep it. However, this individual was not successful in completing that one simple task. In all candor, however, we seriously doubt that this has caused him a great deal of distress.
Has there been a shift in this demand since twelve o'clock? It seems that both of our hypotheses are correct! To reiterate, individuals who do not wish to be contacted "unless asked for" should simply block the number. Easy and uncomplicated; there are no concerns; there is no access!
Could’ve Opened Better
An argument's success or failure often depends on the quality of the opening sentence. If you're dumb enough to ghost your ex-significant others and then text them out of the blue, please make an effort to come up with a better opening line than this guy, even if you're trying to get back together with them!
Even though things are as bad as they are, you should still make an effort to greet people. It goes without saying that you shouldn't go with this option. Despite the fact that the sender may believe they sound cool, we (and, of course, their ex) think they come across as a bit of a fool in the message they sent.
Honesty Stays Golden
An honest admission is sometimes all that is required of you. But when it comes to this particular topic, we just don't know what to say! Undeniably heartfelt but also packed with a healthy dose of humor! At least both parties are aware of how awkward their relationship continues to be.
Could it be that this person's ex-partner preferred the other person to smell like a dog? It's possible that a refreshing shower or a strong dose of deodorant will do the trick. On the other hand, we are concerned that it may be too late to avert this catastrophe.
Unique Message
One more time, the fact that we all communicate in our own unique ways is completely normal. However, how original would you say your method of communication is? It seems that this couple has decided to communicate in a way that is very unconventional and creative. They could only communicate using the titles of songs!
Now, when they went their separate ways, the song competition, as well as the feelings, became more intense! This picture perfectly illustrates how entertaining and interesting it is! Whoever played the last song would be of particular interest to us. Who else would enjoy listening to "Shout Out to My Ex" at this very moment?
Completely Blown It
This is a really efficient approach to putting a stop to the mischief that was being caused. Brilliant, uncomplicated, and of tremendous value! The worst feeling in the world is realizing that you have completely blown your chance at something. And if your ex is happy about anything, it's going to be the fact that they told you this information.
It is clear from looking at this photograph that an era has come to an end for this formerly married couple. We do value the fact that they at least try to be courteous to one another, which is something that both of them do.
Do You Boo-Boo
It's not uncommon for couples to pool their resources and resources such as accounts, passwords, houses, and other items. Nevertheless, the loss that hits you the hardest when a relationship comes to an end may be one that you did not anticipate.
This ex has learned the hard way how challenging it can be to cancel a subscription to a streaming service. It's possible that the end of their relationship didn't warrant a discussion as weighty as being kicked off of Spotify. It's a good thing it wasn't Netflix because otherwise, there might have been some tears shed.
Not The Best Way of Talking to Someone
This is an extremely boring piece of writing. In all honesty, the person who sent this message should have given it another read or at the very least take a moment to reflect on whether or not it was a sound plan. If they had tried, we have no doubt that they could have produced an idea that was even marginally more effective than this one!
Either the individual has just concocted the worst possible justification for talking, or they desperately need to find a new therapist to work with them. This much is obvious. Because a therapist would have been fired if they ever gave us advice like that, it is highly unlikely that they did.
Check Your Eyes
This person gets a perfect score for being a jerk. And I'd give it a perfect score of ten out of ten for being the perfect response! Following the end of a relationship, we often find ourselves fantasizing about the terrible things we could do to our former partner. However, the majority of them are successful in retaliating in some way!
We have high hopes that the next time this person thinks about making such a crude joke, they will change their mind. You know you've reached the end of the conversation when you get a witty response like this one.
Who’s Lying to Who Here
Definitely, someone who likes to chat with the furniture! or one could just have a conversation with oneself... Someone needs to snap out of it and put an immediate stop to it. Despite the fact that it's only one-sided, things are going pretty smoothly!
The situation is getting more and more precarious with each text that is sent. We are intrigued to learn how and where this series of text messages came to an end. This person has at least some comprehension of the fact that they should be ignored.
Straight Fire
There are some text responses that are very natural to you. But this one sets an entirely new standard that is simply unimaginable! The point is made clear in a way that is understandable, and it is exactly what ought to be communicated to the audience.
This article demonstrates that there are other options available in addition to the typical ones, such as blocking phone numbers or removing people as friends on social media platforms. Instead, if you want to get even with someone after a painful breakup, you should flaunt it for all to see. You are both clever and sassy!
Absolutely Inappropriate
It is not an easy task to be able to dismiss an individual in a manner that is appropriate in a single sentence that is both straightforward and succinct. But when it is carried out the way it should be, it is absolutely faultless!
This text reply is the best example of how to throw a banger in the face of your ex while still maintaining your sense of taste and style. Despite the fact that it is not particularly sophisticated, it unquestionably merits a spot in the annals of history.
He Shoots, He Misses
In today's world, everyone likes to express themselves through the use of emojis and stickers. Obviously, with all of those helpful things available, who would want to waste their time typing? This piece of text serves as an excellent illustration of how a full conversation can be carried out with just a few stickers.
This is what we mean when we talk about hitting a home run or taking the ball and running with it! Our sympathies go out to the unfortunate former partner. After everything is said and done, there is no way for you to make up for that embarrassment.
What Goes Around…
This is the manner in which you should respond in a formal setting. A sassy response to a sophisticated text message from an ex! Why was it necessary for them to part ways? They would have been a fantastic match for one another!
You need to be subtle if you want to treat your ex badly without yelling at them. And that's the main focus of this one. We can say with certainty, however, that they both appear content with their end of the relationship. Cheers!
Happy, But A Little Harsh
This passage pretty much encapsulates the entirety of life! Even if you try your best, there are some situations in which the damage can no longer be undone. Therefore, if you are going to text your ex a compliment, you shouldn't expect the same thing in return from them!
This response is the perfect example of what we mean by that. Additionally, there is evidence to suggest that it is well deserved! In that case, we couldn't be more in sync with one another. This text, which is both sophisticated and brutal, is unquestionably a mic drop.
The One Who Laughs Last
This one is a little more complicated, despite the fact that it may appear to some people to be completely hilarious, endearing, and witty. Some people find it revolting, embarrassing, and just plain yucky, but others think it's hilarious. No matter what the circumstances are, it is definitely nighttime!
No matter what perspective you take, you can't help but notice how intense the expression is. We can almost guarantee that this former partner gave a lot of consideration before uttering those very words. Or had the darkness always been so uncomplicated to deal with?
So Much Class!
There is a fine line between acting classy and actually being classy, and giving up any pretense of the class falls somewhere along that line. This person is on a completely different level than everyone else! If you're going for naughty, at least do it in a fashionable way. On the other hand, we cannot say for certain that it will be successful.
Even if it doesn't work, at least you won't end up looking like those whiny ex-spouses who always look foolish while trying to fix the problem. Even if it doesn't work, you'll avoid looking like those. Simply put, we are thankful that this hidden gem was shared with the world so that we could all have a good laugh when we really needed one.
Another Way of Saying This
We all have our own unique ways of speaking. A lot of people have trouble "reading between the lines" and figuring out the real meaning of what's being said to them or what's being said to them. In point of fact, the inability to fulfill this requirement is a common cause of relationship failure.
However, it is clear that misunderstandings were not the cause of this couple's decision to end their relationship because both parties are able to recognize when the other is making an attempt to be gross (or romantic?) in their expression of longing.
Right Through the Middle
This particular instance is a perfect demonstration of the old proverb that says "a picture is worth a thousand words." They are an excellent means of expressing one's emotions, whether they be those of love and longing or simply a polite way to vent one's frustration. One can express any emotion through the use of emojis.
In this particular instance, one of them is even a drawing! And one that is not only beautiful but also reassuring in nature. The impressiveness, however, is completely spoiled by the return image. It's also very funny to watch! This is a perfect illustration of a vicious response that can be found in any textbook.
Getting Right Down to Business
This is, without a doubt, one of the best examples of getting straight to the point! In addition to this, it feels like I'm getting punched in the face! Anyone who hears this direct response will most likely think twice, and possibly even three times, before approaching once more.
When you are so categorically turned down right from the start, you realize there is no longer any chance for success, and this is especially true if you are hoping to win someone back. After reading this response, it became clear that this former partner still feels the same way.