One of the most important nights of an American student’s life is Senior Prom. It’s the last time everyone in their class at school will be together socially and it’s the party that celebrates so much about a teenager’s life and everything they have achieved to date. Everything about Senior Prom is meant to be a magical moment, but for many, it is the confirmation that they aren't in the popular crowd. For one teenager, it was a night that ended in such a cruel manner that most people would never have recovered from it - but he did - and knew he had to share his story...
Prom Night Isn't Always Fun
Senior Prom means everything to so many millions of American students each year. All the tests have been taken and college offers have arrived in the mail.
This is the moment when students can finally let off some steam after so many years of working hard and steering through the various trials and tribulations of school. So for one night only, students all over the United States have their last hurrah together at high school. But for that specific student, it was going to be the worst night of his life.
The Loner and Misfit Who Just Wanted to Be Liked
Jackson Loop never fitted in – he was a social outcast and had been one for most of his life. He was raised in a loving family and his mother, Sheila, worried about her kind-hearted boy for many years.
He was a sweet teenager who loved and respected her. She was eternally grateful for that and he never caused her any worry by partying too hard or getting involved with the wrong crowd. But Jackson wasn’t a “cool kid” – he hadn’t found his place in the world yet and at high school, he definitely didn’t win any popularity contests. She loved her child dearly and wanted him to be comfortable in his own skin, but he rarely was.
Could the School Band Give Jackson a Sense of Belonging or Was It Going to End in Disaster?
So while the jocks and the cheerleaders partied together, and the geniuses and debate teams flocked together, Jackson eventually found a place where he could thrive. He joined the high school band and at long last, Sheila could see that Jackson had a group of friends that he could rely on, or so she thought.
Jackson was relieved that life at high school had become a little bit easier since he joined the band, but still, he didn’t feel confident or secure about himself. Everything seemed so much effort and he doubted himself most days. But he was determined to make his mark in the high school band. Little did he realize that the group that had accepted him was about to destroy his entire world.
The Excitement of the Big Day Increases as Jackson Is Invited to a Special Ritual
For the first time ever, Jackson felt like he fitted in at high school. He was glad that he had a group of friends that he thought was loyal and trustworthy. He knew he wasn’t the most popular person in the band but he was happy enough just to be included in it. When he was playing music, it brought him joy and a feeling of calm. He didn’t feel anxious when he was lost in the music and it was a feeling that he cherished.
As the date of the prom approached, Jackson was elated to be included in plans to meet up with his bandmates a few hours before the event started for the ritual of the pre-prom photo session. At last, he felt part of something and it was fantastic. He was so excited to think of the fun that was heading his way on prom night. Group photos, laughter, food, music, and dancing were all on the agenda and he couldn’t wait. Things were finally going his way.
The Text Message That Made Jackson Feel Better About Himself After Years of Being a Social Outcast
Leading up to the Senior Prom, Jackson had put a lot of time, effort, and money into making sure he was prepared, but he didn’t have a date for prom and was dreading turning up on his own, without any of the fun of photos and a meal with mates beforehand. So when his bandmates texted him on the day of the prom to invite him along to pre-prom festivities, it meant everything to Jackson. They were all going to meet up at someone’s house before the festivities to take photographs before heading to the prom as a group.
Having been a loner for most of his high school years, Jackson was proud to have been accepted into the high school band and even prouder to be asked to show up for the pre-prom festivities and photos. Jackson could hardly contain his excitement. His mother, Sheila, was delighted to see her son so happy after so many years of seeing him down and depressed. But he was in for a major disappointment and a whole world of pain.
The Perfect Outfit and Finally a Sense of Belonging
Teenagers spend a lot of hours and usually a lot of their parent's money on a special outfit for the big event, and Jackson was no exception. He had gone to a tailor one month before to be fitted for a special custom-made suit. He wanted to look and feel like a million dollars for prom, and Sheila was so proud of her boy that she had even accompanied him to some of the fittings.
When the suit was ready, Jackson had proudly brought it home and hung it in his closet. His shoes were polished days in advance, and even though he knew that he wouldn’t have a date on his arm, he was happy to be heading to the prom with some newfound confidence. Receiving the text from his bandmates to meet up a few hours before the event for group photographs was the cherry on top for Jackson. This was the happiest he had been in years.
Jackson Has No Idea of the Heartache He Will Soon Face
On the afternoon of the prom, Jackson showered and laid his new suit out on his bed. He styled his hair and sprayed himself with cologne. He carefully slipped the pants and shirt on and stared at his reflection in the mirror. This year had brought about a massive change in his outlook and even though he was still filled with anxiety most of the time, and wished to be part of the cool crowd, he was happy with how his senior year had been.
As he put the jacket on and added a handkerchief to his lapel, Jackson bounded down the stairs to show his mother his outfit. He had butterflies in his stomach and he was far too excited to sit down. He watched the time pass on this phone and was about to head out to the pre-arranged house to get his photos taken with his fellow band students.
Disappointment Arrives by Text but That's Just the Tip of the Iceberg
But suddenly things started to go wrong. A text message pinged on his phone was telling him that the pre-prom photos had been canceled and the new plan was that they’d collect him from his house and head straight to the big event. Jackson was downcast at the canceled photo plans, especially as he had gone to so much effort to look his smartest for the big day. But he nevertheless tried to remain upbeat and he waited for the doorbell to ring.
As the minutes ticked by and the pick-up time came and went, Jackson had a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. His mother vividly recalls the late afternoon atmosphere in the house. “He waited, and he waited and he waited,” said Sheila. “No one responded to his texts or picked up his calls. His younger brother and sister and I watched him as he started to realize that he was being dumped.” But worse was to come for this poor teenager who just wanted to fit in and be accepted by his peers.
Realization Sets in as Jackson Waits for His So-Called Friends to Show Up
Just a few short hours ago, Jackson had been imagining all the fun he would have that night. He had tried to picture how incredible the school hall would look, with endless balloons, banners, and glittery decorations.
He had thought about all the music that he was going to hear throughout the event and which ones would get him onto the dance floor. He was hoping to have a dance with at least one girl that night, even though asking a girl to dance would be a massive step for him. But instead, here he was, feeling at his lowest point ever, having been ditched by his so-called friends. The painstakingly long minutes turned into hours and there were no new messages or calls from his bandmates. His suit was getting creased and crumpled and Sheila couldn’t bear to see her son suffer so much disappointment and pain on what should have been the best night of his life. It was evident that the doorbell would not be ringing tonight.
A Mother's Pain as She Watches Her Son Suffer
Sheila watched helplessly as her son’s face dissolved into pain and rejection. Her heart broke for her sensitive son, who had tried so hard to find his place in high school. “I have to tell you that in my 18 years of parenting, I have never felt so much pain,” Sheila said afterward. But there was another emotion that was coursing through her entire body – rage!
She was seething that his supposed friends had dumped him on such an important night. They had pranked him on purpose, choosing to build his hopes up and then have them crash down to earth in such an appalling way. She could not believe that anyone could be so cruel but worse was still to come for her rejected son.
The Evil Prank Had Been Planned All Along and Jackson Totally Fell for It
To make matters even worse for Jackson, he was about to see the most excruciating proof online that his friends were not his friends at all. Sheila could barely contain herself as she described the moment that shattered her son’s life into a million little pieces.
His so-called pals hadn’t canceled the pre-prom photo fun. They had simply excluded him from attending and then left him on his own for the entire evening while they partied the night away without him. These cruel youngsters had proudly displayed their group photos on social media, complete with their musical instruments. “After he changed out of his suit, he saw all of their pre-prom pictures on Facebook, and he all but collapsed in the kitchen,” his enraged mother explained. These heartless high school fiends had planned this all along. They had schemed about getting his hopes up and then purposefully leaving him alone and distraught on prom night.
Online Bullying and Belittling Add Salt to the Already Painful Wounds
These atrocious teens even had the nerve to tell their Facebook friends what they had done to Jackson, explaining everything about the prank. They boldly described what they had done to the poor boy, and even went so far as to call him unkind names on the post.
Jackson stared in disbelief at their happy poses in their tuxedos, and the words leaped off the screen at him – his friends had written that he was “an invisible, throwaway loser.” The kind, sensitive, and caring teenager had never felt so humiliated and alone in his entire life. He knew that he would be the laughing stock of the school now. Life for him had always been difficult as he struggled to find his way in the world, but from here on in, it was going to be unbearable.
How Was Jackson Ever Going to Recover From This?
After the worst betrayal and humiliation he had ever experienced, Jackson went to his room and wished the night away. While everyone else was dining and dancing, kissing and laughing, he was crying himself to sleep and dreading having to wake up the following day. He knew that everyone at school would see the photos and would know about the prank. Jackson wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole.
But something happened just a few days later that would restore Jackson’s faith in humanity and it was all documented in a letter that Sheila wrote to a local DJ. John Richards, who worked for a Seattle radio station called KEXP, read the emotional letter out live on air. DJ John was so taken by the events in the note and the accompanying song request that he wanted to share it with his listeners as soon as he received it. So what was the song and why had Sheila asked for it to be played?
The Letter That Explained Why Jackson Was Now Smiling After Such a Disasterous Prom
Sheila had asked the DJ to play “All My Friends” by LCD Soundsystem and, shortly after John read the reason for the request, Jackson’s story went viral. The emotional disc jockey started by saying, “Take a second to get to know some amazing kids who, on a Monday, changed one life.”
As the listeners heard the start of the story, it was difficult for many of them to hold back their tears. Sheila had gone into detail about how Jackson had been pranked and abandoned by his cruel, lying classmates. She wrote all about the devastation of watching her son discover the prom photos on Facebook that he had so desperately wanted to be in. She wrote about how she had helplessly watched as Jackson said goodnight to her that evening and disappeared to his room instead of heading to the event. The pain and angst that she felt had been put into words for all to hear. But something had happened a few days later that put the smile back on Jackson’s face, and it was truly remarkable.
The Text Message That Helped Save Jackson
The DJ continued to read Sheila’s letter out on air and his listeners were disgusted to hear about Jackson’s hideous band members. How could anyone do that to another person with the sole purpose of crushing them? It was beyond comprehension. Jackson had been so relieved when he was accepted into the group and it had really helped his confidence and outlook. For him to have been treated so badly was utterly shocking. So what had happened that put a smile back on Jackson’s face after something so devastating?
It all started when Jackson’s mother received a strange text from a girl she didn’t know. The girl introduced herself as Sophie and told Sheila that she was a member of the junior band from his high school, which was a group of musicians a year younger than Jackson. Sophie asked her for a very strange and confusing request.
Jackson's Mother Was Asked to Do a Bizarre Errand
Sheila was asked by the girl to retrieve Jackson’s custom-made prom suit from his room sometime over the weekend. Sophie asked her to put the suit in the trunk of Jackson’s car by Monday morning, without him noticing. Monday was Memorial Day so there wasn’t any school that day. Sophie then explained in the subsequent text message why she needed Sheila to do this.
Sheila’s heart swelled with happiness when Sophie explained the plan to her. That night, Sheila went to sleep with a smile on her face and a renewed belief in people’s kindness. Soon her son’s pain would be replaced with joy, but she would have to keep it a secret for the painstakingly long weekend.
Jackson Didn't Think He Would Ever Be Able to Step Onto School Property Again
Jackson moped around the house for the entire weekend. He avoided looking at social media, as he didn’t want to see any photos from the prom. He didn’t want to see happy faces, partying and groups of friends having the best night of their lives. He wanted to avoid it completely because he had spent that evening feeling humiliated and alone.
Monday morning came around and Jackson was glad that the national holiday meant he didn’t have to attend school that day. He couldn’t face his friends who had been so cruel to him and he was terrified of walking along the school halls knowing that most of them had seen the post about their hideous prank. Jackson knew exactly how he wanted to spend this Monday, despite a mysterious invite that his mother had told him about.
An Unexpected Invitation and a Way to Cope With Some of the Pain and Anger
During the weekend, Sheila had told Jackson about a Memorial Day gathering that someone from the junior band was having. He knew Sophie but they didn’t socialize as she was a year below him. They obviously had spent time together during band repetitions but nothing more than the customary greetings and hours spent playing their respective instruments. She seemed like a lovely girl and Jackson was pleased to have something to do that afternoon that didn’t involve him having to see his fake friends.
But first, he needed to go to the gym to blow off some steam. He had spent the weekend seething and upset, so all of the mixed emotions had culminated in him needing a gym session. It was therapeutic for him and he lost himself in the exercise regime for a while. Mentally, it lifted his spirits too.
The Memorial Day House Party That Would Push Jackson to Tears
That afternoon, Jackson headed over to Sophie’s house for what he presumed was going to be a casual gathering of some of the juniors from his band class. As he headed into the house he noticed something very unusual. Everyone at the party was dressed up in their formal clothes. The girls were in beautiful dresses and the guys were in their tuxedos. Jackson was bemused and slightly embarrassed to be so underdressed.
One of them told him to look in the trunk of his car. That startled him a bit but he did as instructed and was surprised to find his suit in there. But the best was still to come. This amazing group had a ton of fun in store for Jackson.
The Moment When Jackson Realizes the True Meaning of Friendship
Jackson admitted that he shed a tear as he changed into his prom outfit. When he came back outside, the entire group yelled out “Happy Fake Prom” and they presented him with a fake prom cookie cake too. Jackson was blown away by the amount of thought and effort that the incredible group had put into this magical afternoon. They posed for fake prom photos and the smile on Jackson’s face went from ear to ear. He had finally learned the actions of genuine friends and admitted that the "friends" who had pranked him weren't real.
“I’ve been kind of blind about it,” he explained. He had constantly been the outsider of that group, hanging on the edge or at the back whenever they had all been together. They had ignored him to his face at times and he had chosen to brush it off, so their behavior escalated, culminating in the cruel prom prank.
Fake Prom Elation and Gratitude as Jackson Smiles in the Sunshine
Jackson was now attending a fake prom just for him and he was surrounded by kind-hearted people. They took so many photos and partied the rest of the night away. He savored every moment and wanted the feeling to last forever. He was in his element and was so appreciative of Sophie and the rest of the junior bandmates for giving him a prom that was even better than the one he missed out on.
Jackson posted some of the “Fake Prom” photos onto his Facebook page and it wasn’t long before he received a message from his previous friends. They told him that they were sorry for their behavior and for ruining his prom, but Jackson had learned a lot in the past few days and he wasn’t going to let them manipulate him anymore.
Would Jackson Ever Forgive His Heartless Friends or Did He Have Other Plans?
Jackson knew that if he accepted their apology, they would most likely do something similar to him in the future. He now had his eyes wide open and was much the wiser for it. In an interview, he warned others not to accept second-rate friends by saying, “you may feel like you belong in a place and you’re in a great group of friends, but make sure they’re taking care of you as well. It took me a long time to figure that out.”
He advised people to listen to their gut and that if anyone felt like their friends weren’t treating them well, then they were probably right to be wary. He never forgave the friends who had pranked him, dumped him and treated him so badly, and he quickly replaced them with a much better circle of mates. As the story went viral and DJ John played “All My Friends” during his radio show, you can be sure that his former friends were feeling awful for what they did to Jackson. They have been named and shamed online and have probably lost a lot of friends because of their actions. Jackson won’t be shedding a tear for them – he is too busy focusing on the people that truly matter.
Her Father Stepped In After She Was Harassed By School Officials For This
When Tony Alarcon heard the phone ringing in the middle of the day, he initially thought nothing of it. Calls from telemarketers or robocalls tend to happen around this time. After answering the call, he was shocked to hear the voice of the principal of his daughter’s school. It's not very common when the principal calls home. Tony had no clue what he was about to hear from the principal. Was there an emergency? Were his children safe? When he found out what the real reason was for being called in he couldn’t believe his ears. He had to do something about it.
Nothing was out of the ordinary on that hot summer’s day when Tony Alarcon dropped his daughter, Demetra, off at school. It was 90 degrees out, which is not uncommon weather for Southern California. Demetra chose to wear an outfit that would keep her comfortable for the long day at school. Students know to wear something that will keep them cool throughout the day during the summer months. What neither Tony nor Demetra knew was that this simple attempt to keep cool would spiral into a long battle over the appropriateness of the outfit.
No School Uniform Policy
Not unlike many California schools, Raymond J. Fisher located in Los Gatos, CA is a middle school that has no specific school uniform requirement. The students are allowed to wear everyday clothes to school. This gives students the ability to express their creativity and individuality as well as build confidence because they take pride in their style. However, to ensure students don't go overboard, they do have some rules regarding what they’re allowed to wear and what they’re not. These rules are explained to students in the Student Handbook.
These handbooks are commonly handed out to middle-school students across California during orientation the summer before their first year of middle school starts. Often, these rules are occasionally reiterated verbally by teachers and over the daily announcements. This is usually done in the spring and summer months to remind students that the dress code is still in effect even if the weather has changed.
Protective Dad
As a successful real estate agent and investment banker, Tony Alarcon is used to fighting for what is right. He doesn’t take injustice lying down but instead confronts it head-on. This is especially the case when it comes to protecting his daughter Demetra. After hearing about Demetra's dress code violation, he did not take it lightly. As a protective dad, he would have surely noticed if the outfit was inappropriate for a middle school student to wear.
Yet, when Demetra walked out of the door and sat in his car that morning, he saw nothing wrong with the outfit. Was his daughter being unfairly singled out or was there validity to the school's claims? Tony believed that the truth was the former. So he set out on a journey to get to the bottom of the school's claims that the outfit was indecent for the school environment.
Was He Overreacting?
Demetra felt so embarrassed that day when she was singled out in class. In general, female students are much more likely to get dress code violations than their male counterparts. So realistically, she wasn’t the first girl to ever be reprimanded in front of the class but it was mortifying nonetheless. She couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about. The blue romper was by far not revealing. It was not uncommon to see similar outfits worn by girls of a similar age to Demetra.
So why was Demetra's outfit a problem all of a sudden? Demetra would have had to know the dress code seeing as she had been attending the school for a while at this point. It's unlikely that Demetra would purposely ignore the dress code and wear something that would get her embarrassed in front of the class when the teacher saw the outfit.
The Supposed Inappropriate Outfit
She had no idea that wearing that blue romper would get her into trouble. The blur romper had short sleeves but the top portion was not lowcut. The only part of her upper body that was revealed was her arms. The lower portion was no different. Although the romper had shorts on the bottom, they were not so short as to be revealing. There was nothing wrong with her outfit as far as she was concerned.
As mentioned before, her protective dad Tony had dropped her off that morning and he didn’t think so either. There is no way an inappropriate outfit would have gotten past the radar of Tony Alarcon. Despite all of this, the school still believed the outfit to be inappropriate for the classroom. Naturally, there was no way for Demetra or her father to know how the situation would progress from here.
The Beginning Of A Huge Clash
Demetra could not believe all the fuss that her blue romper was causing. She had not done anything wrong. All she had done was choose an outfit that would be comfortable and keep her cool on a sweltering hot day in California. It is not uncommon for summer days in Southern California to reach into the 80s or 90s in temperature. Demetra just wanted to ensure that she could comfortably enjoy her day at school as she always did.
Unfortunately, that one small decision led to a much bigger battle taking place. If she had known all that would transpire beforehand then she would have never chosen to wear that particular outfit on the fateful day. It was too late now and the damage was already done. She never expected that her choice would result in a clash between her father and the school.
Why All The Fuss?
Demetra’s choice of outfit became the topic of conversation overnight. And soon enough the media got involved and there was a public outcry. The situation had completely spiraled out of control. Demetra, nor Tony, ever expected for the situation to get this big and out of control.
After the pictures of the blue romper made its rounds on the media, many people seemed to be just as confused as the Alarcons were. How was her outfit any different from what other girls her age wore to school?
An Unforeseen Outcome
Demetra didn’t expect that there would be yet another outcome over her outfit. It was even worse than what she’d expected though. She never wished to attract attention from the media or the public at large. The public felt sympathetic towards Demetra. Who could blame her for wearing a comfortable romper on such a hot day in Los Gatos?
They had lived in California and they know just how hot it gets. On top of that, Demetra might have to be outside for some portions of the day like lunch or during P.E. classes.
Unnecessary Humiliation
On that hot day, Demetra was in her first period of the day when the teacher decided to call her out in front of the whole class. He was the one to point out that her romper was not appropriate attire for school. This was very embarrassing for Demetra. The teacher could have at least pulled her aside and addressed the outfit if he thought it was inappropriate.
Instead, he brought it up in a way that ensured that students who may not have even given a second thought to her outfit were now fully aware of it.
The Principal Gets Involved
Adding insult to injury, the teacher decided that she needed to go to the principal’s office. Going to the principal's office is the biggest amount of trouble that a student could get in. The principal's involvement upped the ante for Demetra. Demetra was now being given this punishment for something she never intended to cause trouble.
Upon taking one glance at Demetra, the principal called her dad and explained that there had been a situation involving his daughter. That was a call he would later regret.
A Choice Had To Be Made
The principal explained to Tony that Demetra’s outfit was inappropriate and he had a choice to make. He could either bring her a change of clothes or fetch her from school immediately. He was shocked to be receiving this call. The protocol for many other Southern California schools is to give a warning for the first dress code violation.t.
If the violation is particularly bad, they might be sent to borrow a change of clothes, usually a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. Going to the principal's office is usually only a last resort
Going Along At First
Tony initially decided to go along with the principal's requests. He opted to bring Demetra a change of clothes as opposed to picking her up and making her miss the entire day of school over an outfit. As a young girl, her education was of utmost importance and no outfit should compromise it.
So after receiving the call, he went through her drawers and found what he thought was appropriate. It was a pair of denim shorts and a plain, pink tank top. An outfit that Tony believed was both comfortable and appropriate as school attire.
The Battle Is Not Over
When Demetra's dad, Tony finally arrived at the school he handed her the new outfit. So Demetra went to the restroom to change her clothes. Once she’d changed into the new outfit, she went back to the office where her dad and the administrator were waiting for her. She and her dad though everything was alright at this point.
Unfortunately, the administrator took one look at her new outfit and decided that it was still inappropriate. At this stage, Tony was quite agitated. He had driven all the way to the school for nothing.
What Exactly Was The Problem?
Tony was fuming at this point. One of the main problems is that the administration had never explained exactly what was wrong with either outfit to neither Demetra, not Tony. So Tony asked the school’s administrator to explain what the problem was with the new outfit.
He even made Demetra bend down to show them how her shorts covered her adequately. The shorts covered her adequately but there was still a problem with them in the administrator's eyes. Tony knew that he had to get to the bottom of this.
Protecting His Daughter At All Costs
He just knew that there was more to the story than what they were telling him. He wouldn’t stop until they told him the truth. He would not stand for Demetra being embarrassed and unfairly punished for this. He wanted to get to the bottom of this order so Demetra could put it behind her and ultimately get back to class.
Every moment spent in the office was a moment of her missing class. He wanted it completely explained why they singled Demetra out. Tony had his suspicions but thought that it couldn’t possibly be.
An Answer He Wasn’t Satisfied With
The explanation was that the dress code violation was more about length than modesty. The administrator further explained that the romper and the denim shorts that Demetra wore didn’t pass their “fingertip test.” The fingertip test is when a student stands up completely straight and puts their straightened arms at their sides as naturally as they can.
The explanation was that the dress code violation was more about length than modesty. The administrator further explained that the romper and the denim shorts that Demetra wore didn’t pass their “fingertip test.” The fingertip test is when a student stands up completely straight and puts their straightened arms at their sides as naturally as they can.
Angrier By The Minute
Tony was becoming angrier by the minute after hearing the “fingertip test” story. He’d seen other students in Demetra’s class wearing similar outfits to her when he dropped her off at school that morning. Why was she the only one singled out? Tony probably wouldn't have been as mad if Demetra wasn't the only student who had gotten in trouble for a dress code violation.
If there is a dress code then it should be enforced for every student at school. This furthered his suspicions that Demetra was just being unfairly singled out for some reason.
Fingertip Test Demonstration
To return to the topic of the fingertip test, the pupil must place her arms on her sides and if her pants are above her fingertips then it’s too short. So Demetra performed the fingertip test and hers was just barely above. This meant that the outfit was technically too short according to the dress code.
Tony was not going to accept this. Her fingertips were still only a little below the fabric so it should not be a big deal. More importantly, the shorts were still fully covering Demetra so the fingertip test should be irrelevant.
The Truth Finally Comes Out
After much back and forth between Tony and the administrator, the administrator eventually confessed to the real reason Demetra was singled out. The administrator confirmed that the reason Demetra was singled out was because of the boys in her class. It had nothing to do with the fingertip test or the dress code in question.
In an attempt to process what the administrator had just said, Tony asked her to repeat herself. Tony was shocked at the new revelation. He couldn't believe his ears. He didn't want to believe this but it was the truth.
Regret Set In
The administrator immediately regretted saying what she had said. However, she knew it was much too late. Tony finally knew the truth and he was not going to take it lightly. The problem was not that Demetra was dressed immodestly, but that she was seen as a distraction to the boys in her class.
Demetra was getting in trouble for what other students were thinking about her. She should not be getting into trouble, they should be the ones being punished for being distracted. Demetra could not control how other people were going to react to her.
He Couldn’t Believe His Ears
As he sat across the table from the school principal, Tony couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The teacher and the principal had singled Demetra out and now he understood why. Demetra was being singled out through no fault of her own.
Had he not pried and demanded a reason, Demetra would have had to either changed her outfit or be sent home early and not get to go to classes for the day. Tony had had enough and was ready to fight this.
Using His Resources
At this point, Demetra was very upset and started to cry. Seeing his daughter so upset with tears in her eyes made Tony realize even more that he couldn’t let this go. What the administrator was saying about his little girl was completely unacceptable.
The situation as a whole was not okay and the school needed to learn a lesson. Tony decided that needed to use his resources to rectify the situation.
One Last Choice
The administrator was fed up. She felt that this was taking up way to much time out of her day. A simple dress code violation had turned into something much bigger. To end the conversation, the administrator gave them one last choice: either Demetra covered up her legs with leggings or she wouldn’t be allowed to go back to class.
This was completely unfair to Tony. He didn't feel like he was being compromised with or taken seriously by the administrator. Tony was about to show them exactly what he thought about this.
Unfair Discrimination
Demetra pointed out that the school dress code wasn’t enforced on the boys and this was discriminatory towards girls. There is a no-hats-in-class rule but the boys wear hats in a class all the time and nothing is done about it. This tends to be an issue at schools across the country. Girls tend to be disproportionately affected by the dress code rules.
Even in the rare instances when boys do get punished for dress code violations, their punishment tends to be much more lenient. Overall, the girl students tend to be subjected to much harsher punishment at school.
Many Other Offenders
Tony was trying to stay calm but it was becoming very difficult. He commented that he had seen many other students in the parking lot who were not following the rules either. So why were the girls the only ones picked on? The girls should not be subject to an unequally enforced dress code.
That was discrimination based on gender and not only completely unfair but outright illegal in the United States. Schools are not allowed to discriminate based on a multitude of characteristics but one of the main characteristics is gender.
Unaccommodating Rules
How could the school expect girls to wear leggings on such a hot day? Their rules should be more accommodating. Shorter and lighter clothing would help the pupils to be comfortable in the heat. But because of boys, Demetra had to suffer.
This was not fair to Demetra or the other girls at school. The rules were unfairly enforced and something had to be done to ensure that this could not go on anymore.
Many Pupils Agreed
Tony decided to ask Demetra’s friends what they thought about the dress code rules. Like many girls across the country, they all felt that it was unfair. The system was flawed and Demetra's case just highlighted exactly was wrong with it. The girls had to be uncomfortable in summer because the boys couldn’t control themselves.
This was not the girls' fault and they should not be punished for what the boys do. Unfortunately, the girls did not know what to do to make the system change. Luckily, they had Tony on their side.
Time To Involve The Media
Involving the media was Tony’s next course of action. He was angry. As a result, he wanted the world to know how unfair the school’s dress code was. In addition to that, he wanted everyone to know how the school had humiliated his teenaged daughter. Tony appeared on Today and other local news channels.
This opened up the dress code for discussion amongst adults in the community. It was no longer a conversation where the school told the students what to do and they followed. Now, other adults could give their input.
Parents’ Discretion
The media asked Tony what he proposes would be a solution to the current dress code situation. He stated that it should be solely up to the parents to decide whether what their child wears is appropriate or not. No respectable parent would purposely send their kid to school in something inappropriate.
A parent can make the judgment whether or not it is an acceptable outfit. Parents can also more thoroughly assess how the clothes fit on their child's particular body type to ensure the clothes are comfortable as well.
A Proposal
Tony proposed some changes be made to the school’s dress code. One being that underwear shouldn’t be visible. In addition to that, no midriffs should be showing and no shirts with spaghetti straps should be allowed.
This is similar to what many middle schools in Southern California already have in effect for their dress code. So naturally, many people found these parts to be generally agreeable. But he was just scratching the surface of a bigger issue.
Uncovering A Bigger Issue
Most people supported Tony in this endeavor but the issue of objectification and sexualization of young girls and body image was being uncovered. Some people believed that if teens were allowed to wear what they wanted it would create chaos in the school system. This is an often repeated issue when the dress code is brought up.
However, Tony's plan still involved having adults as part of the process. The goal was for parents to verify whether the outfit was appropriate or not. Even still, the school still had a dress code, it was just not as strict.
Addressing The Accusations
The school responded to Tony’s accusations of the unfair dress code by stating that the dress code was meant to establish guidelines. The school aimed to have “reasonable decorum” among their students. The school administration believed that there had to be some sort of rules regarding the dress code.
Just like some parents, the administration believed there would be chaos without some ground rules and expectations set forth for the students. Students need some level of structure so they know what to do